Vito “Babe” Parilli –
Quarterback, coach, greaseball.
May 7, 1930 – July 15, 2017.
Aged 87 years.
Most recognized for: A two time All-American out of that asshole factory they call Kentucky, he played 16 years of pro football, 10 of which for the AFL prior to the NFL merge. In his last year, he managed to score a ring as Namath’s backup in Super Bowl III. From there, the spotlight definitely faded for the Babe, as he drifted into the obscurity of the WFL and AFL.
Chris Wong Won A.K.A. Fresh Kid Ice –
Rapper, label owner, Chinaman.
May 29, 1964 – July 13, 2017.
Aged 53 years.
Most recognized for: A founding member of 2Live Crew, he was the only member to appear on all their albums. His 1992 solo record “The Chinaman” contained tender serenades such as “Dick ’em Down” and even delved into the sci-fi/fantasy genre with the thought-provoking “Long Dick Chinese.”
Chuck Blazer –
Soccer executive, “whistleblower,” Pirate Santa Claus.
April 26, 1945 – July 12, 2017.
Aged 72 years.
Most recognized for: FIFA & CONCACAF bigwig turned IRS & FBI informant, this wire-wearing bitch-boy exposed the shady dealings of international pro soccer’s governing bodies. As it turns out, he & his fellow FIFA honchos would accept million$ in bribes to sway their decision on where a ball gets kicked back & forth for a yawn-worthy 90 minutes. Money well spen’t.
Joe Robinson –
Actor, wrestler, poor-man’s Schwarzenegger of the 50’s & 60’s
May 31, 1927 – July 3, 2017.
Aged 90 years.
Most recognized for: “Tiger Joe” was an EHC wrestler who caught the acting bug. After being featured in a fitness documentary (a la “Pumping Iron,”) he started landing roles in shitty sword-and-sandal flicks, where he was shirtless 90% of the time. The peak of his visibility was his role as Bond villain Peter Franks in “Diamonds are Forever.” Diamonds may be, Joe… but you, not so much.
Nelsan Ellis –
Actor, playwright, bitch.
November 30, 1977 – July 8, 2017.
Aged 39 years.
Most recognized for: He played flamboyant short-order cook Lafayette Reynolds on the HBO series “True Blood.” On the big screen, he popped up as stable hand Eddie Sweat in “Secretariat” and portrayed Martin Luther King Jr in Lee Daniels’ “The Butler.” Even after winning a handful of acting awards, it turns out his heart wasn’t in it.
Gene Conley –
MLB Pitcher, NBA Forward, Okie from Muskogee.
November 10, 1930 – July 4, 2017.
Aged 86 years.
Most recognized for: An over-talented show-off, he is one of only two professional sports folks to have played for championship winning teams in 2 of the 4 major American sports. In Gene’s case, he earned rings with The Milwaukee Braves in 1957 and the Boston Celtics in 1961. Way to go, Liberace.
John Blackwell Jr. –
Musician, Grammy nominee, skin beater.
September 9, 1973 – July 4, 2017.
Aged 43 years.
Most recognized for: His runs with Justin Timberlake, Bootsy Collins, D’Angelo, and P. Diddy all get overshadowed by the 12 years he spent in The New Power Generation. “Yeah… I play drums for Prince.” Drop that line and the panties come right off.
Heathcote Williams –
Actor, writer, whale hugger.
November 15, 1941 – July 1, 2017.
Aged 75 years.
Most recognized for: Enviro-political activist & artsy-fartsy madman, he published books, penned lyrics for recording artists, wrote plays, appeared in several films & TV shows, set himself on fire, made a fanboy out of Al Pacino, and even vandalized Buckingham Palace. Dude was legit.
Stevie Ryan –
Actress, writer, goofy girl.
June 2, 1984 – July 1, 2017.
Aged 33 years.
Most recognized for: She gained YouTube notoriety for lampooning celebrities such as Amy Winehouse and Kim Kardashian. VH-1 took notice of the viral vixen and gave her the spotlight as writer/producer/star of her own sketch comedy show. “Stevie TV” ran for 2 seasons. Then, as her career seemed to get a bit hung up, so did she.
Michael Bond –
Author, Brit, “big deal” in the OBE.
13 January 1926 – 27 June 2017.
Aged 91 years.
Most recognized for: A published author for an impressive 59 years, Mr. Bond’s most lucrative work lies in the Paddington Bear children’s book series. The Brits so love their little duffel coat-wearing, marmalade-addicted ursine, that the Queen dubbed Mr. Bond ‘Commander of the Order of the British Empire’ in 2015. OOOOHHH! Fancy titles & shiny neck wear doled out by the enfeebled figurehead of a powerless monarchy. PPHHTPTPT!!!
Mikael Nyqvist –
Actor, Swede, pale guy with an accent.
November 8, 1960 – June 27, 2017.
Aged 56 years.
Most recognized for: He played Russian villain Viggo Tarasov in the first “John Wick” movie and fictional journalist Mikael Blomkvist in the original “The Girl withe the Dragon Tattoo” film… a role he reprised in parts 2 & 3 of the Stieg Larsson movie trilogy. That’s right… the Swedes filmed all 3. Suck it, Daniel Craig.
Anthony Young –
MLB pitcher, record holder, loser.
January 19, 1966 – June 27, 2017.
Aged 51 years.
Most recognized for: During his time as a relief pitcher for the Mets, he set the standing MLB losing streak record of 27 consecutive decisions. Between May of ’92 & July of ’93, Mr. Young went 0–14 as a starter and 0–13 as a reliever. Not long after, he hung up his cleats & took a day job at a Texas chemical plant. 8 years and 1 inoperable brain tumor later, here we are.