Hits & Misses - page 53

Manuel Noriega –
Overthrown dictator, drug kingpin, jail bird.
February 11, 1934 – May 29, 2017.
Aged 83 years.

Most recognized for: After spending years on the CIA payroll for assisting US-backed militants in the region, he got a little greedy. With help form his buddy Pablo Escobar, he turned Panama into the hemisphere’s first “narco-state.” Finally, in late 1989, Bush the 1st decided that enough was enough, sent in the troops, and put Manny in the pokey for 30 years.

Frank Deford–
Sports journalist, novelist, talking head.
December 16, 1938 – May 28, 2017.
Aged 78 years.

Most recognized for: He was the morning sports guy on NPR for nearly 4 decades. He also was a correspondent for HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, a Sport Illustrated contributor, and wrote a bunch of sports books… that will likely sell more copies now that he’s checked into the Motel Deep 6.

Gregg Allman –
Singer/songwriter, Grammy winner, no angel.
December 8, 1947 – May 27, 2017.
Aged 69 years.

Most recognized for: Along with his brother Duane, he formed the Allman Brothers Band in 1969. Even though Duane got taken out by a lumber truck a few years later, Gregg went on to entertain millions of smelly hippies and sweet tea swilling Southerners for decades to come.

Jim Bunning –
Hall of Fame Pitcher, US Senator, KY boy.
October 23, 1931 – May 26, 2017.
Aged 85 years.

Most recognized for: Previous to his career as a politician in the armpit of the Mid-west, he was one helluva pitcher for the Phillies. Having thrown 2 no-hitters, a perfect game, and even an immaculate inning, he was ranked #2 for total career strikeouts when he retired.

Sir Roger Moore –
Actor, humanitarian, 007 #3.
October 14, 1927 – May 23, 2017.
Aged 89 years.

Most recognized for: For many generation X-ers, he was the Bond we grew up with… but he was also the cheesiest, slap-stickiest one of them all.  Appearing in seven films, his was the longest running 007 portrayal. Rodge’ was also the booziest Bond, having consumed the most onscreen martinis… and the Bond most likely to have a cold sore, having sucked the face of 24 different women. More Bond fun facts here.

Selected by: B. Buzek & J. Ro

Nicky Haden –
Pro motorcycle racer, MotoGP Champ, Wildcat.
July 30, 1981 – May 22, 2017.
Aged 35 years.

Most recognized for: Known in the racing world as “The Kentucky Kid,” this Owensboro native took home tons of trophies and traveled the world racing motorcycles for team Honda, Ducati, and others. However, it was a bicycle ride in Italy that did him in. After rolling through a stop sign while playing with his phone, an oncoming car made his acquaintance.

Jim McElreath –
Race driver, Indy 500 fixture, good ol’ boy.
February 18, 1928 – May 18, 2017.
Aged 89 years.

Most recognized for: Ascending from teenage dirt track driver to Indy 500 rookie of the year in 1962, Jimbo loved him some high-speed left turns. Although he never won, he raced in 15 Indy 500’s and was inducted into a handful of racing Halls of Fame… as if more than one HOF for the “sport” is really necessary.

Roger Eugene Ailes –
Media mogul, political consultant, skirt chaser.
May 15, 1940 – May 18, 2017.
Aged 77 years.

Most recognized for: Ol’ Rodge has been part of every republican president’s media campaign since Nixon. While CEO of Fox News, he let the ladies know that he was into them… and that he wanted to get into them. A sexual harassment suit filing later, he was told to quit or get fired. Shortly after he quit, he croaked.

Chris Cornell –
Singer, songwriter, grunge god.
July 20, 1964 – May 18, 2017.
Aged 52 years.

Most recognized for: Regularly voted as one of rock’s greatest vocalists, he was the singer & frontman for Soundgarden, Audioslave, and Temple of the Dog. He had fame, money, a full head of hair, but no high-school diploma… which makes the rest of us wonder why we ever bothered trying in the first place.

Oleg Vidov –
Actor, director, Ruskie.
June 11, 1943 – May 15, 2017.
Aged 73 years.

Most recognized for: In the 1988 action turd “Red Heat,” he played Schwarzenegger’s Russian cop partner. Apart from appearing in American films ruined by Jim Belushi’s “acting,” he had a successful film career on the other side of the Iron Curtain… and at one point was dubbed “The Soviet Robert Redford.”

Jimmy Copley –
Musician, drummer, Limey.
September 25, 1953 – May 13, 2017
Aged 63 years.

Most recognized for: He beat the skins for a number of rock acts, including Jeff Beck, Killing Joke, Tears for Fears, Tony Iommi, and Manfred Mann’s Earth Band. He released a solo album once, but who gives a shit about a drummer’s solo record, right? Just ask Peter Criss.
 
 

Powers Boothe –
Actor, Texan, cowboy.
June 1, 1948 – May 14, 2017.
Aged 68 years.

Most recognized for: 3 words – Curly… Bill… Brocius. If this name means nothing to you, then you probably haven’t seen 1993’s “Tombstone.” And if that be the case, we recommend you either A) Netflix that shit right now… or B) fukk off back to your safe-space and pray for a swift & painless death.