in Hits & Misses by
“I once had a masturbation problem…
this big.”

Art Metrano
Actor, comedian, ex-cripple.
Sept. 22, 1936 – Sept. 8, 2021.
Aged 84 years.

Most recognized for: Art had made multiple appearances in popular TV shows before landing the dream gig of any early-80’s Hollywood comic: a part in a Police Academy sequel. Comandant Mauser would later become a quadriplegic from a nasty fall while working on his house in 1989. But miraculously, he eventually made it back onto his feet… only to end up doing the tango at the big Blue Oyster in the sky.