Stick a Fork In It

in News & Updates by

At last. That godforsaken year is finally over. A global pandemic, endless election drama, lockdowns, looting, and Cyndi Fukking Lauper. Now that we’ve all been force-fed the last bite of that Filet-O-Sh!t, let us reflect upon what brought us the most joy in 2020. Alcohol. And – of course – celebrity corpses.

It was a busy year for the reaper… COVID notwithstanding. After a yawn-inducing 14 hits in 2019, participants in 2020’s pool called a whopping 32 shots. In the end, one player saw 8 of 12 names crossed off of their list. With a record-setting score of 315 points, Tote Menschen is The Dead Reckoner Celebrity Dead Pool Champion for 2020 [cue the fanfare and confetti cannons.] May we all pause to expel a guttural groan in celebration of this glorious achievement. A prize package valued at 2 hundred & some-odd dollars is on its way… only to soon be squandered on fancy beers and vape pens. When asked for a statement, Mr. Menschen stated simply, “at least Abra Cadaver won’t be getting his hat trick.” Rounding out the top 3 are Abra Cadaver with 183 points, 7 hits and Pille with 158 points, 6 hits.

OK… fukk those clowns. Let’s move on. We are currently in the Dead Zone… and will be until the 2021 season opens Thursday night at midnight. That, of course, is the deadline for list submission. YOU MUST ENTER BY 12AM EST, 1/8/2021. Contrary to what you might read or interpret from any other communications, WE WILL NOT BE ACCEPTING LISTS ON FRIDAY THE 8th. You can enter as often as you like, but just be prepared to fork over 10 bucks for each list you fill out. Deadbeats will be shamed… publicly and most viciously.

In a brief and uncharacteristic moment of solemnity, we at the Dead Reckoner wish to express our support for all first-responders, healthcare providers, law enforcement, essential service workers, and any Joe-six-packs out there who are actively confronting or have been effected by COVID-19. If you don’t personally know someone who has been impacted by now, chances are that you will before it’s all over. We just hope that you’re not friends or family with any celebrities, as that could make for some awkwardness… and an advantage. Moment over.

Get your lists in and let’s get on with 2021!
Enter HERE… RIGHT NOW!

-Der Kommisssar