Well… it’s official. 2016’s champion is Mr. Colin Capps. A round of forced applause and a few spiteful slaps on the back are in order for this gentleman. He racked up a staggering 139 points with just 4 hits, including Muhammed Ali, Rob Ford, Martin Crowe, and the King of Thailand.
So… as they say… whoever they may be: “to the victor go the spoils.” VP & Treasurer Dr. Death has already dispatched his carrier pigeons to deliver your prize package, Mr. Capps. May it bring you much joy and satisfaction… fukker.
For the curious, here are the results for 2016:
- 1st Place: C. Capps – 4 hits, 139 points
- 2nd place: J. Miller – 3 hits, 84 points
- 3rd place: J. Darr – 4 hits, 71 points
- 4th: C. Osmer – 2 hits, 66 points
- 5th: K. Laws – 3 hits, 54 points
- 6th: M. Poweleit – 2 hits, 53 points
- 7th: C. Rich – 2 hits, 36 points
- 8th (tie): Dr. Death & S. Darr – 3 hits, 33 points each
- 9th: B. Douglas – 1 hit, 26 points
- 10th: J. Stautberg – 1 hit, 10 points
The rest had less than 10 points. We even had three 0-fers, if you can believe it. Can you believe it Thunderpants?
Anyway, that was then… and this is right fukken now! 2017. It’s on! We’ve got 42 lists this year, people. The selection pool holds 169 individual celebrities… any of which could drop dead at any moment. A prize package 2 1/2 times the size of 2016’s hangs in the balance. Dr. Death is going to have to employ TWO pigeons come January of next year just to fly all this shit out to the winner. A big thanks to everyone who is participating this year. Welcome newbies and returning veterans. And a friendly middle-finger to all the spectators. Hopefully we can lure you out of the bleachers and onto the playing field in 2018. In the meantime, enjoy the show.