October 2017 - page 2

Ralphie May –
Comedian, actor, funny fat guy.
February 17, 1972 – October 6, 2017.
Aged 45 years.

Most recognized for: A poor kid from Arkansas crippled by his weight and a Southern twang, he won a comedy contest at the age of 17 to open for his idol Sam Kinison. He later gained notoriety as runner-up in another comedy contest, Last Comic Standing. Then, Ralphie dropped dead… sending shockwaves throughout the comedy community. Literally.

Selected by: N. Galvez

Chuck Low –
Actor, Army vet, schmuck on wheels.
July 21, 1928 – September 18th, 2017.
Aged 89 years.

Most recognized for:  Though he had bit parts here & there, his big role was as wig shop owner Morris “Morrie” Kessler in “Goodfellas.”  Morrie’s shitty TV commercials showed him repeatedly jumping into a pool to proudly demonstrate his product’s secure fit… and drew the ire of Jimmy Conway.  Poor Morrie.  He & Jimmy Roast Beef deserved better.

Robert Yates –
NASCAR team owner, engine builder, grease monkey.
April 19, 1943 – October 2, 2017
Aged 74 years.

Most recognized for: He was the man with the plan for building stock car engines that were anything but “stock.” As an owner, he won 57 cup races… including 3 Daytona 500’s. He’s scheduled to be inducted into NASCAR’s Hall of Fame as part of the “Class of 2018,” but if he’s planning on taking a victory lap, it’ll be in a hearse.

Tom Petty –
Musician, songwriter, stoner.
October 20, 1950 – October 2, 2017.
Aged 66 years.

Most recognized for: Considered one of the best selling music artists of all time, Mr. Petty’s career speaks for itself. His looks on the other hand…. yikes. Tom definitely had a face for radio, bearing the resemblance of a sick horse. Fortunately for him, people liked what they heard & bought it… only to recoil in horror later at his appearance on the album’s artwork.