Celebrity Dead Pool News for the Ghoulish and Depraved

Category archive

Hits & Misses

A chronology of the bucket-kickers.

Summer Headstone

in Hits & Misses by
“Hey…
There goes Les Moonves.
Somebody get me my i-Pad.
I’ve got something to say to him.”

Sumner Redstone
Billionaire, Bostonian, old prick.
May 27, 1923 – August 12, 2020.
Aged 97 years.

Most recognized for: Sumner built his family’s drive-in theater chain into a multibillion-dollar media empire (Viacom)… which he ran with an iron fist in spite of his advancing years. After losing the ability to speak, he communicated via an iPad that was programmed to play samples of his voice delivering just 3 key responses: “yes,” “no,” and “fukk you.”

Selected by : Abra Cadaver

Giant Failure

in Hits & Misses by
“I’ll acknowledge the
rare coincidence of those
two specific names, but I really
think you folks have the wrong
Kamala Harris here.”
 

James Harris AKA “Kamala”
Attorney, politician, wrestler.
May 28, 1950 – August 9, 2020.
Aged 70 years.

Most recognized for: Harris was California’s attorney general before being elected to the US Senate in 2016. Two years later, Kamala would become a frontrunner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for President… only to withdraw due to dwindling campaign funds. Strangely enough, this overshadowed a successful mid-80’s run in the WWF… where Harris regularly donned a loincloth, warpaint, and was billed as “The Ugandan Giant.”

Selected by: Raspus & Hoh 2

Brimmed Over

in Hits & Misses by
“Seriously?
[sniff]
Nobody picked me?!?”

Wilford Brimley
Actor, mormon, beetus boy.
September 27, 1934 – August 1, 2020.
Aged 85 years.

Most recognized for: Wilford played the tubby, mustachioed, curmudgeon in just about anything he appeared in… including “Cocoon,” “The Firm,” and “The China Syndrome.” On the small screen, he was the pitchman for Quaker Oats, Liberty Medical, and regularly appeared in diabetes education spots. But after decades of beating the ‘Beetus, kidney trouble sent this old cowboy to the undertaker.

The Short list – July ’20

in Hits & Misses by

Here we list the unselected celebs we either didn’t have time for… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

July 1, 2020
  • Maximilian Crook – Aged 83 years. Songwriter & keyboardist, played on the Del Shannon’s 1961 hit “Runaway.”
July 2, 2020
  • Kevin Rafferty – Aged 73 years. American filmmaker. Created “The Atomic Cafe” and shot “Roger & Me.”
July 3, 2020
  • Earl Cameron – Aged 102 years. British film actor. Appeared in “Thunderball.”
July 4, 2020
  • Brandis Kemp – Aged 76 years. TV actress who was a regular on “Fidays” and “AfterMASH.”
July 5, 2020
  • Nick Cordero – Aged 41 years. Canadian broadway actor and COVID19 case.
July 6, 2020
  • Mary Kay Letourneau – Aged 58 years. Infamous teacher who banged and married her underage student.
July 7, 2020
  • Mike Ryan – Aged 78 years. MLB catcher and coach.
July 8, 2020
  • Jagdeep – Aged 81 years. Indian actor and comedian.
  • Naya Rivera – Aged 33 years. TV actress part of the doomed “Glee” ensemble.
July 9, 2020
July 10, 2020
  • Jack Charlton – Aged 85 years. Soccer player, 1966 England World Cup winner.
July 11, 2020
July 12, 2020
  • Rod Bernard – Aged 79 years. American singer who pioneered the head-scratchingly odd music genre “swamp pop.”
July 13, 2020
  • Grant Imahara – Aged 49 years. Host of TV’s “Myhbusters” and “White Rabbit Project.”
July 14, 2020
  • Galyn Görg – Aged 55 years. Actress from “Robocop 2” and “Twin Peaks.”
July 15, 2020
  • Paul Fusco – Aged 89 years. American photojournalist who documented JFK’s funeral.
July 16, 2020
  • Phyllis Somerville – Aged 76 years. American film & TV actress who appeared in “…Benjamin Button.”
  • Rick Reed – Aged 70 years. MLB umpire and actor who played an umpire on screen.
July 17, 2020
July 18, 2020
  • Haruma Miura – Aged 30 years. Japanese actor, singer, and chandelier.
July 19, 2020
  • Emitt Rhodes – Aged 70 years. American singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist.
July 20, 2020
  • Annie Ross – Aged 89 years. British-American actress and jazz vocalist.
July 21, 2020
  • Bijay Mohanty – Aged 70 years. Award winning Ollywood actor. (Yes… “Olly”. There’s a difference, apparently.)
July 22, 2020
July 23, 2020
  • Jacqueline Scott – Aged 89 years. American actress of the big & little screens
July 24, 2020
  • Benjamin Mkapa – Aged 81 years. Former president of Tanzania, human blimp.
July 25, 2020
  • Lou Henson – Aged 88 years. NCAA mens basketball coach, 16th on all-time wins list.
  • Peter Green – Aged 73 years. English singer/songwriter, founding member of Fleetwood Mac.
July 26, 2020
  • Edmund Ansin – Aged 84 years. American billionaire, philanthropist, and TV executive.
July 27, 2020
July 28, 2020
  • Kumkum – Aged 86 years. Oddly named Indian actress.
July 29, 2020
  • Malik B. – Aged 47 years. Rapper, founding member of The Roots.
July 30, 2020
  • Lee Teng-Hui – Aged 97 years. First elected president of China.
July 31, 2020
  • Alan Parker – Aged 76 years. Filmmaker, director of “Midnight Express,” “Mississippi Burning,” and “Pink Floyd – The Wall.”

 
 

Hermanated

in Hits & Misses by
“Will I be wearing a mask
at the the rally in Tulsa?
Child please.”

Herman Cain
Businessman, fast foodie, Uncle Tom.
December 13, 1945 – July 30, 2020.
Aged 74 years.

Most recognized for: Mr. Cain’s mad skills at moving more Whoppers and pizzas landed him a financial advisory position in Bob Dole’s late 90’s bid for the Presidency. 15 years later, he gave it a go himself… only to have his campaign derailed by allegations of skirt chasing & pussy grabbing. Though he’d beaten colon and liver cancer over a decade ago, his health took a dump while stumping for Trump.

Final Answer

in Hits & Misses by
“They’re not talking about
that time I sang Christmas
carols with Trump, are they?
I was really hoping the world
had forgotten about that.”

Regis Philbin
TV host, singer, camera whore.
August 25, 1931 – July 24, 2020.
Aged 88 years.

Most recognized for: Over a 60-something year career, Regis set the Guinness world record for most hours on broadcast television: over 17,000 hours. He hosted talk shows, game shows, variety shows…. any time slot, he could fill it. He even sang a duet of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” with Donald Trump on the David Letterman show in 2005. Clearly, not all 17,000 of those hours are worth remembering.

Selected by: Mpoweleit 2

Long Gone

in Hits & Misses by
“I sued Warner Brothers & won.
What makes you think I
won’t sue your
scrawny ass?”

Olivia de Havilland
Actress, Oscar winner, old broad.
July 1, 1916 – July 25, 2020.
Aged 104 years.

Most recognized for: A vestige of the “Golden Age of Hollywood,” she was the last surviving member of the “Gone With the Wind” cast… and a mainstay of deadpool lists for over a decade. She once dated Howard Hughes and turned down a proposal from Jimmy Stuart… but didn’t take the reaper’s hand until just a few weeks after he 104th birthday.

Selected by: Dr. Death 2

Black Belted

in Hits & Misses by
“…and that one’s for
withholding details about
human to human transmission
last fukking December!”

John Saxon
Actor, martial artist, tough guy.
August 5, 1936 – July 25, 2020.
Aged 83 years.

Most recognized for: Born Carmine Orrico, he became a teen idol shortly after changing his name at the request of his agent. He mainly worked in westerns & teeny-bopper flicks until pivoting toward action and horror roles… playing Bruce Lee’s buddy Roper in “Enter the Dragon” and Nancy’s father in the “A Nightmare on Elm Street” series. But pneumonia turned out to be the antagonist that Carmine couldn’t shoot or karate-chop his way past.

Whipped

in Hits & Misses by
“They wanna erect a statue
of me somewhere? OK, I guess.
As long as it ain’t in front
of a goddamned bus station.”

John Lewis
Politician, activist, bus boy.
February 21, 1940 — July 17, 2020.
Aged 80 years.

Most recognized for: In the 60’s, John was one of the 13 original “Freedom Riders’ who protested segregated public transportation in the deep South. He managed to turn getting bloodied at Alabama bus stations into career in politics & served in Congress as Senior Chief Deputy Whip until pancreatic cancer punched his ticket to ride.

Selected by: Raspus, Kim Reaper, Pille, Abra Cadaver, Hog 2, Tote Menschen

Low Travoltage

in Hits & Misses by
“Hello, Tom…
I don’t mind you coming over to ‘talk business’
with my husband, but keep your size fives
off of my fukking couch.”

Kelly Preston
Actress, model, beard.
October 13, 1962 – July 12, 2020.
Aged 57 years.

Most recognized for: In the 80’s, Kelly regularly played the blonde bimbo… both on & off the screen. She dated George Clooney, had an ugly break-up with Charlie Sheen, and then hitched her wagon to Scientology’s flyboy in 1991. She soon appeared with fellow Thetan Tom Cruise in “Jerry Maguire.” But just a few years after playing mobster wife Victoria Gotti alongside her real life hubby, Mrs. Travolta got unexpectedly whacked by the big C.

Unfit Fiddler

in Hits & Misses by
“Here’s a little honky-tonk,
foot stompin’ number I wrote called,
‘Fukk you, Iran. You’re next!’

Charlie Daniels
Singer, songwriter, longhaired country boy.
October 28, 1936 – July 6, 2020
Aged 83 years.

Most recognized for: Although skilled at multiple stringed instruments, he was best known for his violin playing… as exemplified in his 1979 hit “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” Not to be confined to the simpler themes of Southern redneckery, Charlie also liked to dabble in politics… penning several patriotic songs about ‘Merica, her flag, and what happens to the dirty SOB’s who mess with either one.

Downs to Earth

in Hits & Misses by
“Remember when the news was
objective, unbiased, and educational?
[sniff] Me too,”
 

Hugh Downs
Broadcaster, 20/20 anchor, stoner.
February 14, 1921 – July 1, 2020.
Aged 99 years.

Most recognized for: Morning, primetime, late-night… game shows, talk shows, news shows… NBC, ABC, PBS… it seemed like you couldn’t escape him no matter how many times you changed the channel. At one point, Hugh had the Guinness World Record for the most hours on commercial network TV, before being surpassed by that camera whore Regis Philbin.

Selected by: Mpoweleit 1

1 2 3 48
Go to Top