Celebrity Dead Pool News for the Ghoulish and Depraved

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Hits & Misses

A chronology of the bucket-kickers.

Silence of the Hams

in Hits & Misses by
“Now… if you’ll excuse me…
It’s about time I cry
wee, wee, wee…
all the way home.”

Ned Beatty
Actor, Golden Globe winner, bottom.
July 6, 1937 – June 13, 2021.
Aged 83 years.

Most recognized for: On his 1972 big screen debut, Ned squealed like a pig and took one for the team in “Deliverance.” He later earned an Oscar nod for “Network” and became Lex Luthor’s sidekick Otis in the first 2 Superman movies. But even after nearly 50 years in showbiz, his name still conjures images of that harrowing scene that makes everyone second guess the safety of a rural canoeing trip.

Won’t Be Seeing Yoo

in Hits & Misses by
“Hey!
Anybody wanna see
my Robbie Rogers
impersonation?”

Yoo Sang-chul
FIFA player, manager, blindsider.
October 18, 1971 – June 7, 2021.
Aged 49 years.

Most recognized for: So… apparently, soccer is a thing in South Korea. Who knew. And if you did, you’d surely heard of Yoo. A star midfielder for the National team, he had standout World Cup performances in ’98 & ’02. But it was only after a bum knee forced his retirement that he revealed he’d been blind in one eye the whole time. But with a wink & a nod, it was an early lights out for the Seoul man.

Selected by: Deadpool Actuary

The Short List – May ’21

in Hits & Misses/News & Updates by

Each month, we list the unselected dead celebs we either didn’t have time to report on… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

May 1, 2021
  • Olympia Dukakis – Aged 89 years. Actress who won an Oscar & A Golden Glove fo r her performance in “Moonstruck.”
May 2, 2021
  • Bobby Unser – Aged 87 years. 3X Indy 500 winning race car driver.
May 3, 2021
  • Lloyd Price – Aged 88 years. “Mr. Personality” of 50’s-60’s R&B who sand “Lawdy Miss Clawdy.”
May 4, 2021
  • Nick Kamen – Aged 59 years. English singer/songwriter & Madonna collaborator.
May 5, 2021
  • George Jung – Aged 78 years. Cocaine trafficker for the Medellín cartel who was portrayed by Johnny Depp in “Blow.”
May 6, 2021
  • David H. Gambrell – Aged 91 years. Georgia Senator who was a big deal for a hot minute in the early 70’s.
May 7, 2021
  • Pete du Pont – Aged 86 years. Silver-spoonfed Delaware politician who took a swing at the presidency in 1988.
May 9, 2021
  • Robert Ward – Aged 68 years. Record-holding caucus leader from Connecticut.
May 10, 2021
May 11, 2021
  • Norman Lloyd – Aged 106 years. American actor who was in showbiz for nearly a century.
May 12, 2021
  • Jerry Burns – Aged 94 years. Former head coach for the Minnesota Vikings
May 13, 2021
  • Jack Terricloth – Aged 50 years. Oddball American musician and guitarist.
May 14, 2021
May 15, 2021
May 16, 2021
  • Patsy Bruce – Aged 81 years. Country-western songwriter who co-penned “Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys.”
May 17, 2021
  • Don Kernodle – Aged 71 years. WWF tag-team partner of Sgt. Slaughter.
  • Buddy Roemer – Aged 77 years. Aisle-jumping congressman from Louisiana.
May 18, 2021
  • Gilles Lupien – Aged 67 years. NHL defenceman who played for Montreal’s back-to-back Stanley Cup team.
May 19, 2021
  • Paul Mooney – Aged 79 years. Writer & stand-up comic who played Negrodamus on “Chappelle’s Show.”
  • Lee Evans – Aged 74 years. 2X gold medal olympian and Black Panther.
May 20, 2021
  • Roger Hawkins – Aged 75 years. Muscle Shoals session drummer who is heard on dozens of top 40 hits.
May 21, 2021
  • Tahir Salahov – Aged 92 years. Russian artist & Order of Lenin recipient.
May 22, 2021
  • Robert Marchand – Aged 109 years. Old fart on a bicycle.
  • Joe Beckwith – Aged 66 years. MLB relief pitcher for 85 World Series winning Royals.
May 23, 2021
  • Eric Carle – Aged 91 years. Children’s lit author & illustrator who created “The Very Hungry Caterpillar.”
May 24, 2021
  • Samuel E. Wright – Aged 74 years. Actor & singer who was the voice behind The Little Mermaid song “Under the Sea.”
  • Paul Christy – Aged 82 years. Old school wrestler who jobbed in the NWA & WWF.
  • John Davis – Aged 66 years. The real voice behind Milli Vanilli’s “Girl You Know it’s True.”
May 25, 2021
  • John Warren – Aged 94 years. US Senator and 6th husband of Elizabeth Taylor.
  • J.D. Roberts – Aged 88 years. Head coach for the New Orleans Saints in the early 70’s.
  • Rusty Warren – Aged 91 years. Female comic & singer, specializing in sex-related tunes like “Bounce Your Boobies”
  • Cotton Ivy – Aged 91 years. Tennessee politician and musician who appeared on Hee Haw.
May 26, 2021
  • Paul Soles – Aged 90 years. Canadian actor and television personality who voiced Hermey, the misfit dentist elf on “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”
  • Jerome Hellman – Aged 92 years. Oscar-winning producer of “Midnight Cowboy.”
May 27, 2021
  • Patrick Sky – Aged 80 years. American folk singer/songwriter.
May 28, 2021
  • Tony Marino – Aged 90 years. Another dead wrestler.
May 29, 2021
  • B.J. Thomas – Aged 78 years. Grammy winning singer of “Hooked on a Feeling” & “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head”.
  • Joe Lara – Aged 58 years. Actor who played Tarzan on TV.
May 30, 2021
May 31, 2021
  • Arlene Golonka – Aged 85 years. Actress best known as Millie Hutchins on “The Andy Griffith Show.”.
  • Lil Loaded – Aged 20 years. Rapper & trouble magnet.

 

 

Down with the Ship

in Hits & Misses by
“Not a single mention of the 7 years I spent on Mary Tyler Moore?! Is that all people really care about? This sappy, stupid fukking boat show?!?!”

Gavin MacLeod
Actor, MTM alum, bible beater.
February 28, 1931 – May 29, 2021.
Aged 90 years.

Most recognized for: After serving in the Air Force, Mr. MacLoed got his first regular acting gig in the Navy… “McHale’s Navy,” that is. Years later, he’d be promoted from seaman to captain of “The Love Boat.” And after playing an Army mechanic in “Kelly’s Heroes,” a German general in “Hogan’s Heroes,” and even appearing in Gomer Pyle’s Marine Corps, the old acting vet has finally got his discharge papers.

Grounded Chuck

in Hits & Misses by
“It doesn’t matter who you are,
at some point in everyone’s life,
we all screw a pig.”

Charles Grodin
Actor, author, antagonist.
April 21, 1935 – May 18, 2021.
Aged 86 years.

Most recognized for: Aside from notable movie appearances such as “Midnight Run,” “The Heartbreak Kid,” and “The Great Muppet Caper,” Mr. Grodin was a successful comedy writer and frequent talk show guest… where loved to play the provocateur. Visits with Letterman and Carson frequently ended in shouting, even with him getting “banned” from the show. And though it was all an act, the show’s finally over.

Under the Bridge

in Hits & Misses by
“Wait a minute….
Did Mad Max just say
Sugar Tits?!?”
 

John Kiedis AKA Blackie Dammett
Actor, pusher, pepper papa.
December 7, 1939 – May 12, 2021.
Aged

Most recognized for: Blackie was the sole surviving Christmas tree lot coke dealer in the opening scene of “Lethal Weapon”… a role that was kismet for the real life Sunset Strip trafficker. According to son Anthony Kiedis’ book, pop’s clients at the Rainbow included members of The Who and Led Zep. Although there have been far more “accomplished” celebrity passages recently that better deserved a write up over than this clown, he was in Lethal Fukken Weapon, mmmkay?

There She Goes

in Hits & Misses by
“Who ever came up with the idea that
all redheads are crazy?
Seriously…. who said it?
I’ll cut his balls off & feed ’em
to his children.”

Tawny Kitaen
Actress, model, hood ornament.
August 5, 1961 – May 7, 2021.
Aged 59 years.

Most recognized for: After posing for Ratt’s first 2 album covers, Tawny hit the big screen with Tom Hanks in “Bachelor Party” and a B-horror flick called “Witchboard.” But it was by straddling 2 Jaguars in the “Here I Go Again” music video that she became truly memorable. She would later sink into the quicksand of reality TV and become a regular Orange County mugshot for cocaine, booze, & domestic violence. Then came all the ridiculous plastic surgery… which turned the 80’s spank banker into closed casket material.

The Short List – April ’21

in Hits & Misses/News & Updates by

Each month, we list the unselected dead celebs we either didn’t have time to report on… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

April 1, 2021
  • Gerald Irons – Aged 73 years. NFL linebacker honored(?) as one of 100 greatest Cleveland Browns of all time.
  • Lee Aaker – Aged 77 years. Child actor who costarred w/ The Duke in “Hondo” and was a regular on “The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin.”
April 2, 2021
  • Quindon Tarver – Aged 38 years. Teen R&B vocalist from the late 90’s.
  • Arthur Kopit – Aged 83 years. American playwright and two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist.
April 3, 2021
  • Stan Stephens – Aged 91 years. American politician, former governor of Montana.
  • Gloria Henry – Aged 98 years. TV/film actress best known for playing Dennis the Menace’s mother Alice Mitchell.
April 4, 2021
  • Ralph Schuckett – Aged 73 years. Keyboardist for Todd Rundgren’s Utopia.
April 5, 2021
  • Paul Ritter – Aged 54 years. Actor who made appearances in the Harry Potter, James Bond, and Chernobyl film series.
April 6, 2021
  • Walter Olkewicz – Aged 72 years. American character actor who played French Canadian fattys on “Twin Peaks.”
April 7, 2021
  • Anne Beatts – Aged 74 years. Emmy-winning American comedy writer for National Lampoon & SNL and creator of “Square Pegs.”
April 8, 2021
  • Phillip Adams – Aged 32 years. NFL cornerback who went on a killing spree before popping himself.
  • Richard_Rush – Aged 91 years. Oscar-nominated director of “The Stunt Man.”
April 9, 2021
  • Ramsey Clark – Aged 93 years. LBJ’s US attorney General turned international activist.
April 10, 2021
  • Bob Porter – Aged 80 years. Jazz and blues record producer and noted preservationist.
April 11, 2021
  • Joseph Siravo – Aged 66 years. American actor who typically played greaseball mobsters.
April 12, 2021
  • Galen Weston – Aged 80 years. British-Canadian billionaire & businessman.
April 13, 2021
  • Bobby Leonard – Aged 88 years. NBA player, coach, and color commentator.
April 14, 2021
  • Rusty Young – Aged 75 years. Pedal steel guitar virtuoso who fronted Poco.
April 15, 2021
  • Leroy Keyes – Aged 74 years. Legendary Boilermaker selected by the Eagles in the 1st round of the ’69 NFL draft.
April 16, 2021
  • Helen McCrory – Aged 52 years. British actress seen in “Skyfall,” Peaky Blinders,” and the last 3 Harry Potter movies.
  • Felix Silla – Aged 84 years. Italian stunt dwarf who played Cousin Itt on “The Addams Family.”
April 17, 2021
  • Black Rob – Aged 52 years. One of P.Diddy’s Bad Boy Entertainment flunkies whose hit single “Whoa!” blew past us early this century.
April 18, 2021
  • Paul Oscher – Aged 71 years. Color barrier-breaking blues instrumentalist. First white guy in Muddy Waters’ band.
April 19, 2021
  • Bob Lanois – Aged 73 years. Canadian record producer and recording engineer.
April 20, 2021
  • Monte Hellman – Aged 91 years. American indie filmmaker who directed a couple of Jack Nicholson’s Westerns.
  • Tempest Storm – Aged 93 years. Slutty old broad who was dubbed “The Queen Of Exotic Dancers.”
  • Les McKeown – Aged 65 years. Singer for Scottish pop-tards The Bay City Rollers.
April 21, 2021
  • Thomas Fritsch – Aged 77 years. Hollywoood’s go-to guy for dubbing a main movie character’s voice in German.
April 22, 2021
April 23, 2021
April 24, 2021
  • Christa Ludwig – Aged 93 years. Highly decorated German opera singer.
April 25, 2021
  • Denny Freeman – Aged 76 years. American guitarist who collaborated with some big names in the Blues scene.
April 26, 2021
  • AlSchmitt – Aged 91 years. 20X Grammy winning recording engineer & music producer.
  • Geno Hayes – Aged 33 years. NFL Linebacker with a busted liver.
April 27, 2021
  • Charles Strum – Aged 73 years. American journalist and author.
April 28, 2021
  • Michael Collins – Aged 90 years. Astronaut who piloted Apollo 11’s command module around the moon.
April 29, 2021
  • John Hinch – Aged 73 years. Founding drummer for Judas Priest.
  • Johnny Crawford – Aged 75 years. Singer & child actor from the 50’s & 60’s.
  • Pete Lammons – Aged 77 years. Tight End for the Jets in Super Bowl 3.
April 30, 2021

 

Bad for Good

in Hits & Misses by
“How could anyone possibly mistake me
for Brent Spiner?!? I mean, really. Do I look
like some kinda Star Trek loser to you?!

Jim Steinman
Composer, lyricist, Loaf maker.
November 1, 1947 – April 19, 2021.
Aged 73 years.

Most recognized for: Jim was the brains behind some of the biggest piano-driven heartbreak anthems on 80’s radio. Air Supply’s “Making Love Out of Nothing At All,” Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” & “Holding Out for a Hero,” and pretty much every song that Meat Loaf ever sang first came through this guy’s fingers. But after some kidney trouble in Connecticut, the world can rest assured that there will be no “Bat Out of Hell 4.”

There’s the Beef

in Hits & Misses by
“I figure having a woman on the ballot
is the only chance I have. Beyond that,
I’d have to resort to cheating, haha!”

Walter Mondale
Politician, ex-Veep, ass man.
January 5, 1928 – April 19, 2021.
Aged 93 years.

Most recognized for: Walt was a Dem’s Dem. His blood ran so goddamned blue, he could give an anemic donkey a transfusion. After serving as Jimmy Carter’s #2, he decided to run for #1 in the ’84 election. But even with a female, pro-choice catholic as his running mate, Mr. Mondale lost by a landslide to incumbent Ronald Reagan… ushering in 4 more years of nuclear escalation, crack on every street corner, and good ol’ Reaganomics.

Bern in Hell

in Hits & Misses by
“I especially enjoyed taking
Steven Spielberg’s money.
If you paid to see that last
Indiana Jones movie,
you would too.”

Bernie Madoff
Financier, philanthropist, fraudster.
April 29, 1938 – April 14, 2021.
Aged 82 years.

Most recognized for: A law school drop-out from Queens, his modest penny stock brokerage became a Wall Street powerhouse by the mid-80’s. Unfortunately, the asset management portion of his firm was – to quote the man himself – “one big lie.” His clients lost 18 billion bucks in the largest Ponzi scheme in world history… earning Mr. Madoff a 150 year sentence in the federal slammer. So now he’s getting out a little early… but not exactly the way his legal team had hoped.

Selected by: Abra Cadaver & Goble

Royal Flush

in Hits & Misses by
“Hmmmm….
Canada.
Why exactly am I supposed to
give a fukk about this
ghastly place again?”
 

Prince Philip
Duke, Dane, dick.
June 10, 1921 – April 9, 2021.
Aged 99 years.

Most recognized for: In the idiotically uptight world of the British monarchy, Phil was a notorious sh!t stirrer and gaffe machine. Women, children, cripples, Asians… nobody was immune from his deliciously blunt and insensitive epithets. Perhaps it was his way of getting attention… as his puny, princely existence seemed eclipsed by his wife’s sovereignty. But as long as his grandson’s camera-hogging jezebel doesn’t crash the funeral, Phil will finally have his moment to shine.

Selected by: MPoweleit1, Kappy, Kim Reaper, Pille

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