Celebrity Dead Pool News for the Ghoulish and Depraved

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Hits & Misses

A chronology of the bucket-kickers.

The Short List – May ’20

in Hits & Misses by

Here we list the unselected celebs we either didn’t have time for… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

May 1, 2020
  • Matt Keough – Aged 64 years. All-star pitcher for the Oakland A’s.
May 2, 2020
  • Cady Groves – Aged 30 years. Pop-country songstress.
May 3, 2020
  • John Ericson – Aged 93 years. German-American film & TV actor who starred in “Pretty Boy Floyd.”
May 4, 2020
May 5, 2020
  • Millie Small – Aged 73 years. Jamaican singer-songwriter, best known for her 1964 recording of “My Boy Lollipop”.
May 6, 2020
  • Brian Howe – Aged 66 years. Rock vocalist for Bad Company and Ted Nugent.
May 7, 2020
  • Ty – Aged 47 years. British rapper and Mercury Prize nominee.
May 8, 2020
  • Mark Barkan – Aged 85 years. American songwriter and record producer.
May 9, 2020
  • Geno Silva – Aged 72 years. Bit role actor who killed Tony Montana in “Scarface.”
May 10, 2020
  • Betty Wright – Aged 66 years. American soul and R&B singer.
May 11, 2020
  • Moon Martin – Aged 69 years. American singer-songwriter.
May 12, 2020
  • Michel Piccoli – Aged 94 years. French actor, producer and film director with a career spanning 70 years.
  • Astrid Kirchherr – Aged 81 years. Photographer for The Beatles.
May 13, 2020
  • Andy Thompson – Aged 57 years. American politician, Ohio state rep.
May 14, 2020
  • Phyllis George – Aged 70 years. American businesswoman, actress, and sportscaster.
May 15, 2020
  • Lynn Shelton – Aged 54 years. American filmmaker known for such films as “Humpday” and “Your Sister’s Sister.”
May 16, 2020
  • Michael McCaskey – Aged 76 years. American sports executive, former chairman of the Chicago Bears.
May 17, 2020
  • Shad Gaspard – Aged 39 years. Professional wrestler and actor.
  • Peter Thomas – Aged 94 years. German composer who scored for film & TV for over 50 years.
May 18, 2020
  • Willie K – Aged 59 years. Grammy nominated Hawaiian musician.
May 19, 2020
  • Ravi Zacharias – Aged 74 years. Indian author and christian evangelist.
May 20, 2020
May 21, 2020
  • Bobby Digital – Aged 59 years. Jamaican reggae and dancehall producer.
May 22, 2020
  • Ashley Cooper – Aged 83 years. Australian pro tennis player, multiple Grand Slam tourney winner.
May 23, 2020
  • Eddie Sutton – Aged 84 years. American college basketball coach.
May 24, 2020
  • Jimmy Cobb – Aged 91 years. American jazz drummer, Miles Davis collaborator.
May 25, 2020
  • Bucky Baxter – Aged 65 years. American guitarist noted for work with Bob Dylan.
May 26, 2020
  • Irmgard Hermann – Aged 87 years. German actress of over 160 film and TV productions.
  • Richard Herd – Aged 87 years. American actor who played Mr. Wilhelm, George’s boss on “Seinfeld.”
May 27, 2020
  • Sam Johnson – Aged 89 years. American politician, member of the U.S. House of Representatives.
May 28, 2020
  • Charlie Monttana – Aged 58 years. Mexican rock urbano musician and songwriter.
May 29, 2020
  • Bob Kulick – Aged 70 years. American guitarist and record producer, worked with Kiss and W.A.S.P.
May 30, 2020
  • Michael Angelis – Aged 68 years. British actor known as the voice from “Thomas & Friends.”
  • Michel Gauthier – Aged 70 years. Canadian politician.
May 31, 2020
  • Christo – Aged 84 years. Bulgarian-born American artist.

No Bull

in Hits & Misses by
“As long as we’re not
counting race car driving, I’m the
3rd goddamned sports hit this year!”

Jerry Sloan
NBA’er, coach, honky.
March 28, 1942 – May 22, 2020.
Aged 78 years.

Most recognized for: Nicknamed “The Original Bull,” Jerry was Chicago’s star shooting guard 10 years and was the first of the franchise to have his number retired. He later became head coach of the Utah Jazz for a span of 23 years, racking up over 1200 wins. But only 4 years after a Parkinson’s diagnosis, Mr. Sloan got benched for good.

Selected by Tote Menschen & Schlitz

Spank Heavens!

in Hits & Misses by
“What?!?
Another Anchorman sequel?
Fukk it… I’m out.”
 

Fred Willard
Actor, comedian, handyman.
September 18, 1933 – May 15, 2020.
Aged 86 years.

Most recognized for: Fred made appearances on just about every hit comedy TV show since 1985. He also had memorable cameos in mockumentary films such as “Best In Show” and played Ron Burgundy’s boss in the the “Anchorman” Series. He was so beloved by Hollywood, that when he got arrested for jerkin’ his gherkin in a dirty movie theater in 2012, nobody cared… and the work kept rolling in… until Fred eventually got rolled out.

Left It

in Hits & Misses by
“As far as I was concerned,
the only beaver on that show
was Barbara Billingsley.”

Ken Osmond
Child actor, author, pig.
June 7, 1943 – May 18, 2020.
Aged 76 years.

Most recognized for: Ken’s role as two-faced miscreant Eddie Haskell on “Leave It to Beaver” left him so typecast that he had little choice but to stop acting altogether and disappear… which gave rise to several ridiculous “whatever happened to…” urban myths. In reality, he grew a mustache and became a motorcycle cop. After getting shot five times, he retired from the LAPD… only to later be done in by the COPD.

Final Grievance

in Hits & Misses by
“Ummm…. Hello!?!
My eyes are
up here.”
 

Jerry Stiller
Actor, comedian, Costanza.
June 8, 1927 – May 11, 2020.
Aged 92 years.

Most recognized for: After decades as a renowned married comedy duo, Jerry & his wife Anne finally landed a sitcom deal in the 80’s… but it flopped. Then came the show about nothing… where playing George’s Festivus-celebrating father earned Mr. Stiller a Primetime Emmy nod. But several years after “King of Queens,” Arthur folded in Manhattan.

Selected by: Schlitz, Mnob, Hoh 1

Aw Rooty!

in Hits & Misses by
“Ha ha!!
Gotcha beat, Roy!!
Woooo-hooo!!”

Little Richard
Musician, vanguard, fruitcake.
December 5, 1932 – May 9, 2020.
Aged 87 years.

Most recognized for: The style and spirit of rock & roll as we know it can all be traced back to gay, piano playing black man in the 1950’s. Tootier than a Studio 54 bathroom stall and fruitier than a San Francisco parade, his wild and flamboyant persona had an undeniable influence on the landscape of popular music. But then, the fun machine took a sh!t and died.

Selected by: Mpoweleit 1

Once Bitten

in Hits & Misses by
“I would dare say that I
have got to be the most flamboyant person
to kick the bucket this week.”

Roy Horn
Entertainer, magician, schwuler.
October 3, 1944 – May 8, 2020.
Aged 75 years.

Most recognized for: He was half of the infamous Vegas magic duo “Siegfried and Roy,” renowned for making lions, tigers, and each others’ schwanzes disappear. On his 59th birthday, before a live audience at The Mirage, Roy had a stroke and was mauled by one of his white tigers… leaving him with a severed spine. He managed to limp along for several years after… until the Rona finished what the tiger couldn’t.

Laces Out

in Hits & Misses by
“Whoa-ho-ho, guys…
I know we’re #1, but watch where
you point those fingers back there.”

Don Shula
NFL coach, defensive back, perfectionist.
January 4, 1930 – May 4, 2020.
Aged 90 years.

Most recognized for: For 25 years, Don was head coach for the Miami dolphins. In that time, he took them to 5 Super Bowls… 2 of which they won back to back… and led them through the NFL’s only perfect season ever recorded. He’s considered the winningest coach in NFL history… but now he’s just plain history.

Selected by: Hoh 1

Scrubbed Off

in Hits & Misses by
“Gee… I’d love to try some of
those hair re-growth drugs,
but it would ruin
my acting career.”
 

Sam Lloyd
Actor, singer, chrome dome.
November 12, 1963 – April 30, 2020.
Aged 56 years.

Most recognized for: Sam played Ted, the hospital’s sad sack lawyer, on TV’s “Scrubs.” He also appeared on “The West Wing,” Desperate Housewives,” “The Middle,” and “Cougar Town”… always playing the same balding, dull character. Mr. Lloyd also was a member the a capella quartet “The Blanks” who appeared on Scrubs occasionally and recorded a few completely unnecessary albums.

Selected by: Abra Cadaver & Tote Menschen

The Short List – Apr ’20

in Hits & Misses by

Here we list the unselected celebs we either didn’t have time for… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

April 1, 2020
April 4, 2020
  • Jay Benedict – Aged 68 years. American actor known better in the UK.
  • Forrest Compton – Aged 94 years. Actor known for roles on TV’s “Gomer Pyle, USMC” and Christopher Walken film “McBain.”
  • Tom Dempsey – Aged 73 years. Toeless record-setting NFL kicker.
  • Timmy Brown – Aged 82 years. Actor, singer, and NFL RB.
April 5, 2020
  • Shirley Douglas – Aged 86 years. Canadian actress and activist, Kiefer Sutherland’s mom..
  • Bobby Mitchell – Aged 84 years. NFL halfback & first black Redskin.
  • Lee Fierro – Aged 91 years. Cop-slappin’ actress from 2 “Jaws” movies.
April 6, 2020
  • James Drury – Aged 85 years. TV Western actor best known as “The Viginian.”
  • Al Kaline – Aged 85 years. Detroit’s “Mr. Tiger” who played for the MLB franchise his entire 22 year career.
April 7, 2020
  • Allen Garfield – Aged 80 years. American film and TV actor who played Chief Lutz in “Beverly Hills Cop II.”
  • Steve Farmer – Aged 71 years. Guitarist alongside Ted Nugent in late 60’s psychedelic act The Amboy Dukes.
April 8, 2020
  • Mort Drucker – Aged 91 years. Comic artist, caricaturist, satirist. Mad Magazine contributor for 55 years.
  • Chynna – Aged 25 years. Model, rapper, fringe celebrity.
  • Pat Stapleton – Aged 79 years. Record setting NHL defenseman.
  • Linda Tripp – Aged 70 years. Whistleblower in the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal.
April 9, 2020
  • Malcolm Dixon – Aged 66 years. Midget who appeared in “Time Bandits” and wore an Ewok suit in “Return of the Jedi.”
April 10, 2020
April 12, 2020
  • Stirling Moss – Aged 90 years. British Formula One racing legend.
  • Peter Bonetti – Aged 78 years. English goalkeeper nicknamed “The Cat.”
  • Glenn Beckert – Aged 79 years. Four time MLB All-star.
  • Tavaris Jackson – Aged 36 years. NFL QB for MIN, SEA, and BUF.
  • Jim Frey – Aged 88 years. MLB coach/manager for the Royals & Cubs.
April 14, 2020
April 15, 2020
  • Willie Davis – Aged 85 years. 5 Time Pro Bowl Packer.
  • Ranjit Chowdhry – Aged 64 years. Bollywood actor who made appearances on US TV shows such as “Prison Break” and “The Office.”
  • Gary McSpadden – Aged 77 years. Gospel singer and Oak Ridge Boy.
  • Ashley Mattingly – Aged 33 years. Playmate of the Month, March 2011.
April 16, 2020
  • Christophe – Aged 74 years. French singer.
  • Howard Finkel – Aged 69 years. Pro wrestling ring announcer.
  • Gene Deitch – Aged 95 years. Comic artist, animator, and film director.
April 17, 2020
  • Matthew Seligman – Aged 64 years. 80’s pop bass player for The Thompson Twins and Thomas Dolby.
April 18, 2020
  • Paul H. O’Neill – Aged 84 years. Businessman and former US Secretary of the Treasury.
April 20, 2020
  • Thomas Lester – Aged 81 years. TV actor who played farmhand Eb Dawson on “Green Acres.”
April 21, 2020
  • Derek Jones – Aged 35 years. Guitar player/vocalist for American post-hardcore act Falling in Reverse.
  • Dimitri Diatchenko – Aged 52 years. American actor who regularly played Russians on film & TV.
April 24, 2020
  • Harold Reid – Aged 80 years. Bass singer for country quartet The Statler Brothers.
April 29, 2020
  • John Lafia – Aged 63 years. Horror film writer, producer, and director behind “Child’s Play” and “Man’s Best Friend.”
  • Matty Simmons – Aged 93 years. Producer of “National Lampoon’s Animal House” and the National Lampoon’s “Vacation” film series.
April 30, 2020
  • Rishi Kapoor – Aged 67 years. Bollywood romantic leading man from a famous Indian acting family.
  • Tony Allen – Aged 80 years. Obscure but famed African drummer.

 

Officer Down

in Hits & Misses by
“Go ahead.
Make
my
  meatloaf.”

Jill Gascione
Actress, novelist, limey.
April 11, 1937 – April 29, 2020.
Aged 83 years.

Most recognized for: Although TV police dramas with female leads were nothing new to US audiences by 1980, “The Gentle Touch” was the first of its kind in the UK. As Detective Inspector Maggie Forbes, Jill’s character tackled relevant social issues through the lens of a widowed single mother with a badge for 8 seasons. The only case she couldn’t crack… was Alzheimers.

Selected by: The Kim Reaper

Went Mumbai-bai

in Hits & Misses by
“Oh no.
We’re out of toilet paper?
May Ganesh have mercy
on us all.”
 

Irrfan Kahn
Actor, Bollywood bigshot, poopy pants.
January 7, 1967 – April 29, 2020.
Aged 53 years.

Most recognized for: One of India’s most versatile & well-known film & TV stars, Mr. Kahn was kinda/sorta the Tom Hanks of modern Bollywood. He crossed over into Western cinema with roles in “Slumdog Millionaire,” “The Amazing Spider-Man,” “Life of Pi,” and “Jurassic World.” But after battling a neuroendocrine tumor for a few years, he made his final crossover with a little help from a bad case of colitis.

Selected by: Tote Menschen

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