Celebrity Dead Pool News for the Ghoulish and Depraved

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Der Kommissar

Der Kommissar has 678 articles published.

Die Harding

in Hits & Misses by
“How does that old drinking phrase go?
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me…
than a double mastectomy??
Wait… that’s not right.”

Sarah Harding
Singer, actress, Aloud mouth.
November 17, 1981 – September 5, 2021
Aged 39 years.

Most recognized for: While originally spawned from some sh!tty British reality show, Girls Aloud managed to achieve legitimate success in the music biz, charting top 10 singles in the UK a record 20 consecutive times. During breaks from the Spice Girls knock-off group, Ms. Harding modeled, acted, and drew attention to herself in a number of lucrative ways. Then, she ran into a touch of titty trouble.

Selected by:Deadpool Actuary

The Short List – Sept. ’21

in Hits & Misses/News & Updates by

Each month, we list the unselected dead celebs we either didn’t have time to report on… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

September 1, 2021
September 2, 2021
  • Keith McCants – Aged 53 years. NFL linebacker turned broadcaster.
  • Mikis Theodorakis – Aged 96 years. Acclaimed film music composer and commie douchebag.
  • David Patten – Aged 47 years. Patriots WR who caught Tom Brady’s first Super Bowl TD.
September 3, 2021
  • Yolanda López – Aged 78 years. American painter known for her Virgen de Guadalupe series.
September 4, 2021
  • Willard Scott – Aged 87 years. Today Show weatherman and creator of Ronald McDonald.
September 5, 2021
  • Sarah Harding – Aged 39 years. Soap actress and singer for Brit-pop group Girls Aloud.
  • Tony Selby – Aged 83 years. English actor from “EastEnders” and “Doctor “Who.”
September 6, 2021
  • Michael K. Williams – Aged 54 years. Black guy with the big scar on his face seen in “The Wire,” “Boardwalk Empire,” and “Alias.”
  • Jean-Pierre Adams – Aged 73 years. French soccer star who spent 39 years in a coma.
  • Adlai Stevenson III – Aged 90 years. US Senator from a famous family of politicians.
September 7, 2021
September 8, 2021
  • Neddy Smith – Aged 76 years. Australian organized criminal whose hijinks were fictionalized on page & screen.
  • Terry Brennan – Aged 93 years. Head coach for Notre Dame in the mid-50’s.
September 9, 2021
September 10, 2021
  • Jorge Sampaio – Aged 81 years. Former president of Portugal.
  • Michael Chapman – Aged 80 years. English singer-songwriter and guitar virtuoso.
September 11, 2021
  • Mick Tingelhoff – Aged 81 years. NFL Hall of Fame career center for the Vikings.
September 12, 2021
  • Fran Bennett – Aged 84 years. TV & film black bit-part player.
September 13, 2021
  • Don Collier – Aged 92 years. TV Western & film actor who was pigeon-holed into becoming Hubba Bubba’s ad mascot “The Gum Fighter”.
September 14, 2021
  • Reuben Klamer – Aged 99 years. Inventor of Milton Bradley’s The Game of Life.
September 15, 2021
  • Joel Rapp – Aged 87 years. Film director & screenwriter for popular 60’s TV shows.
September 16, 2021
  • Jane Powell – Aged 92 years. Musical actress referred to as one of the last surviving stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood.
September 17, 2021
  • Abdelaziz Bouteflika – Aged 84 years. President of Algeria for nearly 20 years.
  • Tim Donnelly – Aged 77 years. TV actor who played fireman Chet Kelly on the 70’s primetime series “Emergency!”
September 18, 2021
  • Roger Brown – Aged 84 years. 6X Pro Bowl defensive tackle known for his role in 1962’s “Thanksgiving Day Massacre.”
September 19, 2021
  • John Challis – Aged 79 years. English TV actor and author.
  • Jimmy Greaves – Aged 81 years. England’s fourth-highest international football goalscorer.
September 20, 2021
  • Sarah Dash – Aged 76 years. R&B singer who worked with Patti LaBelle and The Rolling Stones.
  • Sherwood Boehlert – Aged 84 years. US congressman from New York who chaired the science committee.
  • Billy Maxwell – Aged 92 years. College golf stud who turned pro in the 50’s.
September 21, 2021
  • Willie Garson – Aged 57 years. Film & TV actor known for playing Stanford Blatch on HBO’s “Sex and the City.”
  • Richard H. Kirk – Aged 65 years. English electronic musician from Cabaret Voltaire who also worked under dozens of pseudonyms.
  • Al Harrington – Aged 85 years. Samoan-American actor who had parts in both the original “Hawaii Five-O” and the 2010 reboot.
  • Peter Palmer – Aged 90 years. Actor who played Lil Abner on Broadway and on film.
September 22, 2021
  • Robert Fyfe – Aged 90 years. Scottish TV actor with a 25-year gig on a British sit-com you never heard of.
  • Abdelkader Bensalah – Aged 79 years. Another former President of Algeria.
  • Roger Michell – Aged 65 years. English filmmaker, director of “Notting Hill” and “Hyde Park on the Hudson.”
  • Bob Moore – Aged 88 years. “Nashville A-Team” session bassist who performed on over 17,000 recordings, including Elvis & Patsy Cline.
  • Jay Sandrich – Aged 89 years. Emmy-winning director of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” & “The Cosby Show.”
September 23, 2021
  • Sue Thompson – Aged 96 years. American pop and country music singer with hits in the 60’s.
September 24, 2021
  • Pee Wee Ellis – Aged 80 years. American composer & jazz sax player who worked with James Brown & Van Morrison.
September 25, 2021
  • Walter Scott Jr. – Aged 90 years. Billionaire businessman and philanthropist.
September 26, 2021
  • Alan Lancaster – Aged 72 years. Bassist/singer for British rock band Status Quo.
  • George Frayne – Aged 77 years. Singer/musician better known in the 60’s country scene as Commander Cody.
September 27, 2021
  • Andrea Martin – Aged 49 years. R&B hitmaker who wrote for the likes of Toni Braxton, En Vogue, and Jennifer Hudson.
  • Roger Hunt – Aged 83 years. One of the few remaining members of England’s legendary mid-60s World Cup team.
September 28, 2021
September 29, 2021
  • Michael Tylo – Aged 73 years. American actor who had roles in just about all the major soap operas.
September 30, 2021
  • John Rigas – Aged 96 years. Cable TV magnate, NHL team owner, and convicted fraudster.

Reunited!

in Hits & Misses by
“Yeller here’s my Ketamine connection.
He’s got a couple of scripts for
the good veterinary grade sh!t.”

Tommy Kirk
Actor, doper, Yeller feller.
Dec. 10, 1941 – Sept. 28, 2021
Aged 79 years.

Most recognized for: As a successful child actor, Tommy starred in several Disney films in the 50’s & 60’s… most notably as the boy who had to shoot his dog in “Old Yeller.” But cinema’s all-American teenager had a secret lust for barbiturates and boys… which got him fired from Disney by Walt himself. So he left Hollywood and went into the carpet cleaning business… where he was free to take all the dope & dick he wanted.

Deadasssss

in Hits & Misses by
“What’chu mayonaise-eatin’
muthafukkas lookin’ at, huh?!?
You never seen no black man chew a
Dutch Masters down to the nub befoe?!?”

Melvin Van Peebles 
Filmmaker, musician, melon baller.
August 21, 1932 – September 21, 2021.
Aged 89 years.

Most recognized for: After directing the big-budget comedy “Watermelon Man” in 1970, Melvin went strictly indie. Funded solely by himself and a 50K loan from Bill Cosby, his magnum opus “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song” essentially created the blaxploitation film genre. He would later become the subject of the documentary film “How To Eat Your Watermelon in White Company” and his son Mario’s biographical stroke piece “Baadasssss!”

Departure from the Norm

in Hits & Misses by
“This just in…
I’m dead.”

Norm Macdonald
Comic, actor, colonel.
Oct. 17, 1959 – Sept. 14, 2021.
Aged 61 years.

Most recognized for: Norm worked as a stand-up comic and writer for Roseanne and Dennis Miller before landing the Weekend Update anchor spot on SNL… but his distaste for subordination and affinity for OJ jokes wound up getting him 86’d from 30 Rock. Various film & TV gigs – including a brief stint as KFC’s mascot – followed… until a long-hidden illness put the “Dirty Work” star in the dirt.

Proctor!

in Hits & Misses by
“I once had a masturbation problem…
this big.”

Art Metrano
Actor, comedian, ex-cripple.
Sept. 22, 1936 – Sept. 8, 2021.
Aged 84 years.

Most recognized for: Art had made multiple appearances in popular TV shows before landing the dream gig of any early-80’s Hollywood comic: a part in a Police Academy sequel. Comandant Mauser would later become a quadriplegic from a nasty fall while working on his house in 1989. But miraculously, he eventually made it back onto his feet… only to end up doing the tango at the big Blue Oyster in the sky.

The Short List – August ’21

in Hits & Misses/News & Updates by

Each month, we list the unselected dead celebs we either didn’t have time to report on… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

August 1, 2021
  • Paul Cotton – Aged 78 years. Poco guitarist/singer who wrote their biggest hit “Heart of the Night.”
August 2, 2021
  • Dave Severance – Aged 102 years. Easy company commander who ordered the flag raising on Iwo Jima.
August 3, 2021
  • K-HAND – Aged 56 years. Electronic musician dubbed “The First Lady of Detroit techno”.
August 4, 2021
  • Razzy Bailey – Aged 82 years. Country hitmaker from the early 80’s.
  • Bobby Eaton – Aged 62 years. Pro wrestler who was half of the tag-team ‘The Midnight Express.’
  • Dick Farmer – Aged 86 years. American businessman with a hilarious name.
  • Paul Johnson – Aged 50 years. House DJ/producer who landed a hit single with “Get get Down.”.
August 5, 2021
August 6, 2021
  • Trevor Moore – Aged 41 years. Comedian who was a member of the Whitest Kids You Know troupe.
August 7, 2021
  • Markie Post – Aged 70 years. Blonde TV actress known for “The Fall Guy” and “Night Court.”
  • Jane Withers – Aged 95 years. Prominent child star from the Golden Age of Hollywood.
August 8, 2021
  • Bobby Bowden – Aged 91 years. Legendary college football coach for FSU.
  • Walter Yetnikoff – Aged 87 years. Head of CBS records who crafted the careers of Michale Jackson, Billy Joel, Bruce Springstien, and Weird Al.
August 9, 2021
  • Joey Ambrose – Aged 87 years. Sax player for Bill Haley & the Comets and Rock & Roll HOF’er.
August 10, 2021
August 11, 2021
  • Mike Finnigan – Aged 76 years. American session keyboardist who played with Jimi Hendrix, Crosby Still & Nash, and many more.
  • Roy Gaines – Aged 83 years. Texas electric blues guitarist who appeared in “The Color Purple.”
August 12, 2021
August 13, 2021
  • Fez Whatley – Aged 57 years. Comedian & radio personality known for “The Ron & Fez Show.”
  • Nanci Griffith – Aged 68 years. Grammy-winning American singer, guitarist, and songwriter.
August 14, 2021
  • Carlos Correia – Aged 87 years. 4-time Prime Minister of Guinea-Bissau.
August 15, 2021
  • Paul Mitchell – Aged 64 years. Former US Rep for Michigan’s 10th district.
  • Gerd Müller – Aged 75 years. German FIFA legend nicknamed “Der Bomber.”.
  • Dick Schafrath – Aged 84 years. NFL O-lineman who later became an Ohio State Senator.
  • Joe Walton – Aged 85 years. College & NFL player & head coach (Jets).
August 16, 2021
  • Sean Lock – Aged 58 years. British stand-up comic and TV star.
August 17, 2021
  • Eddie Paskey – Aged 81 years. Actor who played an enterprise crewman in 55 episodes of the original “Star Trek” TV series.
  • Gary “Chicken” Hirsh – Aged 81 years. Drummer for psychedelic Woodstock act Country Joe & The Fish.
  • Leonard Thompson – Aged 69 years. Record-setting receiver for the Detroit Lions.
August 18, 2021
  • Joseph Lee Galloway – Aged 79 years. Vietnam war news correspondent & Bronze Star recipient whose work later found its way into Hollywood films.
August 19, 2021
  • Chuck Close – Aged 81 years. American visual artist known for massive-scale portraits.
  • Sonny Chiba – Aged 82 years. Japanese actor and martial artist who played sword maker Hattori Hanzō in the Kill Bill movies.
  • Rod Gilbert – Aged 80 years. Pro Hockey HOF’er known as New York’s “Mr. Ranger.”
August 20, 2021
  • Tom T. Hall – Aged 85 years. Storytelling country musician with 12 number one hits to his name, including “Harper Valley PTA.”
  • Ian Carey – Aged 45 years. Musician and record producer whose 2008 dance hit “Get Shaky” got international acclaim.
August 21, 2021
  • Don Everly – Aged 84 years. Remaining half of harmony-singing country-rockers The Everly Brothers.
  • Bill Emerson – Aged 83 years. Founding member of The Country Gentlemen revered as one of the best bluegrass banjo players in music history.
  • Anthony Scotto – Aged 87 years. Gambino crime family mafioso.
  • Phil Valentine – Aged 61 years. Talk radio host and outspoken skeptic of masks & vaccinations… who pulled a 180 a little too late.
August 22, 2021
  • Micki Grant – Aged 92 years. American singer, soap actress (Another World, Guiding Light,) and Tony nominated writer.
August 23, 2021
  • Brick Bronsky – Aged 57 years. Pro wrestler and and B-horror flick actor.
  • Michael Nader – Aged 76 years. American soap actor seen on “Dynasty,” “All My Children,” and “As the World Turns.”
August 24, 2021
  • Hissène Habré – Aged 79 years. 5th President of Chad and convicted war criminal.
  • Jerry Harkness – Aged 81 years. Pro basketballer and Quaker Oats shill.
August 25, 2021
August 26, 2021
  • Kenny Malone – Aged 83 years. Session drummer who played with the OG’s of outlaw country.
  • Neal Brendel – Aged 66 years. USA Rugby Union chairman and member of the national team.
August 27, 2021
  • Sam Salter – Aged 46 years. American R&B singer and one-time Babyface protégé.
  • Edmond H. Fischer – Aged 101 years. Nobel Prize-winning biochemist and president of the World Cultural Council.
August 28, 2021
  • Ida Keeling – Aged 106 years. Record-holding old broad featured spotlighted by HBO doc series & Oprah Winfrey.
August 29, 2021
  • Ron Bushy – Aged 79 years. Drummer for Iron Butterfly who played an unnecessary solo on “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.”
  • Lee “Scratch” Perry – Aged 85 years. Jamaican singer and producer considered a pioneer in dub music.
August 30, 2021
  • Junior Coffey – Aged 79 years. RB for the Packers’ ’65 championship team.
August 31, 2021
  • Michael Constantine – Aged 94 years. American actor and Big Fat Greek Dad.
  • Mahal – Aged 46 years. Filipino actress & comedienne.

 

Grant No Quarter

in Hits & Misses by
“Listen doc…
I need whatever that sh!t’s called
that Betty is on. Something like
a 55 gallon drum of it.
Fast.”

Ed Asner
Actor, Emmy winner, SAG-bag.
Nov. 15, 1929 – Aug. 29, 2021.
Aged 91 years.

Most recognized for: Ed played various forgettable boob tube roles before landing his big gig on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” in 1970. His character Lou Grant was even deemed interesting enough to be awarded a spin-off in ’77. Later, Ed became president of the Screen Actors Guild… and used the position as a bully pulpit for his leftist political views. Although he kept acting up to the end, Mr. Asner eventually lost the MTM Cast-member Royal Rumble to the indomitable Betty White.

Selected by: J-Ro

Moss Gathers

in Hits & Misses by
“Jeezus christ, Mick.
Is all that ass wagging
even necessary anymore?”

Charlie Watts
Drummer, composer, Stone.
June 2, 1941 – August 24, 2021
Aged 80 years.

Most recognized for: Since their formation in 1963, Mr. Watts was the drummer for The Rolling Stones… and along with Mick & Keef, was one of only 3 members to have appeared on all of their recordings. His stoic and reserved demeanor stood in stark contrast to the wild & animated antics of his bandmates… at times begging the question, “is that guy back there on the drum kit really alive?… or just some automaton draped in the skin of a dead man?” Today, the answer changes… slightly.

There Goes Trouble

in Hits & Misses by
“Who said ‘Dee Snider?!’
I don’t look anything like that
vampire tranny!”

Eric Wagner
Singer, songwriter, stoner.
April 24, 1959 – August 22, 2021.
Aged 62 years.

Most recognized for: Eric was the singer for doom metal pioneers Trouble, who were considered to be in the “big 4” of the psychedelic and depressing sub-genre. His spiritual and introspective lyrics ran counter to the ‘hail satan’ money machine of the early 80’s, prompting Metal Blade Records to label them “white metal” (as opposed to black metal.) Eric hated the “cute” classification… but not quite as much as he hated COVID.

Down Hill from Here

in Hits & Misses by
“Whatever that sh!t is they’re serving in Cincinnati,
it sure as fukk ain’t chili!”

Dusty Hill
Musician, songwriter, Texan.
May 19, 1949 – July 27, 2021.
Aged 72 years.

Most recognized for: For over 50 years, Mr. Hill held down the low end for ZZ Top. Along with fellow hirsute axman Billy Gibbons and beardless drummer Frank Beard, they went from 70’s hitmakers to 80’s pop culture superstars thanks to MTV… back when MTV actually played music videos. Then suddenly, for reasons not disclosed, Dusty made like horse sh!t… and hit the trail.

The Short List – July ’21

in Hits & Misses by

Each month, we list the unselected dead celebs we either didn’t have time to report on… or who were just too boring to malign. So in case you were wondering “whatever happened to,” this monthly post may give you some unexpected closure.

July 1, 2021
  • Josh Culbreath – Aged 88 years. American olympian, bronze medalist, and one time world record holder.
July 2, 2021
  • Bill Ramsey – Aged 90 years. American born singer/actor who was a big deal in Germany.
July 3, 2021
  • James Kallstrom – Aged 78 years. Former federal agent who hosted Discovery’s “The FBI Files.”.
July 4, 2021
  • Terry Donahue – Aged 77 years. Longtime UCLA head coach and GM of the 49’ers.
July 5, 2021
  • William Smith – Aged 88 years. Actor who regularly played big, menacing dudes in movies like, “Conan the Barbarian” and “Any Which Way You Can.”
July 6, 2021
  • Suzzanne Douglas – Aged 64 years. Film & TV actress who mostly stuck to shows geared toward a particular demographic.
  • Patrick John – Aged 83 years. Former Prime Minister of Dominica and failed coup leader.
July 7, 2021
  • Robert Downey Sr. – Aged 85 years. Countercultural filmmaker and Ironman’s pop.
  • Giovanni Tegano – Aged 81 years. One of Italy’s most wanted greaseballs.
  • Chick Vennera – Aged 74 years. Actor and Joe Pesci voice double.
July 8, 2021
  • Bryan Watson – Aged 78 years. NHL & WHA hockey player who got around.
July 9, 2021
July 10, 2021
  • Dick Tidrow – Aged 74 years. MLB GM and relief pitcher with multiple World Series appearances.
July 11, 2021
July 12, 2021
  • Paul Orndorff – Aged 71 years. Pro wrestling’s “Mr. Wonderful.”
  • Edwin Edwards – Aged 93 years. Legendary Louisiana democrat.
July 13, 2021
  • Shirley Fry – Aged 94 years. American Hall of Fame tennis player.

 

July 14, 2021
  • Jeff LaBar – Aged 58 years. Guitar playin’ fella in Cinderella.
July 15, 2021
  • Dennis Murphy – Aged 94 years. American sports entrepreneur who started the ABA & the WHA.
July 16, 2021
  • Harry M. Rosenfeld – Aged 91 years. WAPO newsman who helped break the Watergate story.
July 17, 2021
  • Jim Shofner – Aged 85 years. NCAA & NFL head coach.
  • Robby Steinhardt – Aged 71 years. Vocalist/violinist for classic rockers Kansas.
July 18, 2021
  • Tom O’Connor – Aged 81 years. British comedian and game show host.
July 19, 2021
July 20, 2021
July 21, 2021
July 22, 2021
July 23, 2021
  • John Cornell – Aged 80 years. Writer/producer of the first 2 Crocodile Dundee movies.
July 24, 2021
  • Jackie Mason – Aged 93 years. Award winning comedian and actor.
July 25, 2021
  • Bob Moses – Aged 86 years. Author and civil rights activist.
July 26, 2021
  • Mike Howe – Aged 55 years. Vocalist for Metal Church.
  • Joey Jordison – Aged 46 years. Founding drummer for Iowish metal act Slipknot.
July 27, 2021
  • Saginaw Grant – Aged 85 years. Old Indian actor who regularly played the Old Indian.
July 28, 2021
  • Johnny Ventura – Aged 81 years. Latin music legend and Dominican politician.
July 29, 2021
  • Carl Levin – Aged 87 years. Long-serving Michigan Senator.
July 30, 2021
  • Jay Pickett – Aged 60 years. Seasoned veteran of the Soap Opera arts.
July 31, 2021
  • Charles Connor – Aged 86 years. Drummer known for his work with Little Richard and James Brown.
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