Final Voyage

in Hits & Misses by
“Please lord…
Don’t let me go the way Elvis did.
But if I must, at least let it be on my own sh!tter.
Or maybe one at some really expensive restaurant.
Preferably with a bathroom attendant.


Rapper, Grammy winner, Comptonian.
August 1, 1963 – September 28, 2022.
Aged 59 years.

Most recognized for: He hasn’t had a hit since that mid-90’s music video of him blowin’ smoke & rhymes in Michelle Pfeiffer’s face. But over all that time, Coolio’s style never changed. And let’s face it: 20-something years of twisting your hair up to look like a pincushion full of bent pipe cleaners is hard work, right? So much so, that it’ll make you sh!t. So after excusing himself to a friend’s throne room for a quick deuce, his extended absence drew concern. There it was discovered that a suspected cardiac arrest had sent ol’ Coolio Iglesias off to gangsta’s paradise.