Hits & Misses - page 33

Steve Ditko –
Artist, illustrator, comic book nerd.
November 2, 1927 – June 29, 2018.
Aged 90 years.

Most recognized for: In collaboration with Stan Lee, he was the creator and exclusive artist behind comic superhero Spiderman. Riding the high of Spidey’s successes, his next contribution to the Marvel universe attracted a new audience. “Dr. Strange” became the comic book for the psychedelic counterculture, with its bizarre and disorienting landscapes… leading to popular speculation that the folks at Marvel were just a bunch of stoners. Although… I’d rather be called a stoner than a comic book nerd.

Derrick O’Connor –
Actor, Irishman, accidental Arayan.
January 3, 1941 – June 29, 2018.
Aged 77 years.

Most recognized for: In Lethal Weapon 2, he was Martin Riggs’ nemesis. Affectionately nicknamed “Adolph” early in the movie, his South African henchman character admitted to being responsible for the death of Riggs’ wife. Outside of squaring off against Mel Gibson, Derrick had multiple film & TV appearances and was also a favorite player of Terry Gilliam‘s.

Richard Swift –
Musician, producer, Quaker.
March 16, 1977 – July 3, 2018.
Aged 41 years.

Most recognized for: Dick was a solo artist before moving into the producer’s chair, where his multi-instrumental savvy and collaborative nature helped to elevate some unbearably sh!tty indie records to the level of tolerably sh!tty. He was also in The Shins, The Arcs, a few other acts you’ve never heard of, and was a touring member of The Black Keys.

Jahvante Smart AKA Smoke Dawg –
Rapper, smoker, Canadian.
November 18, 1996 – June 30, 2018.
Aged 21 years.

Most recognized for: Shit…. young rappers are like the new wrestlers, dropping like sh!thouse flies these days. A Toronto native, Mr. Dawg was Drake’s tourmate and saw success with his “Trap House” remix. But in the Great White North, gangster rappers have to work hard at being hard… sometimes too hard. I mean, c’mon. Just try to say it out loud without laughing: “Canadian Gangster Rapper?” Hysterical.

Alan Longmuir –
Musician, Scot, slow roller.
20 June 1948 – 2 July 2018.
Aged 70 years.

Most recognized for: Along with his musically-inclined siblings, Alan founded the Bay City Rollers in the late 60’s. Lauded to be the biggest thing since the Beatles, the Scottish quintent launched “Rollermania” and became teen idols for a hot minute. Fast forward to July of 2018… as Alan is rushed home from a vacation in Mexico, where he contracted what is presumed to be a foodborne illness… and dies. Which is absolutely heartbreaking… because it pains us to say a bad word about tacos… ever.

Stanley Anderson –
Actor, TV narrator, gavel banger.
October 23, 1939 – June 24, 2018.
Aged 78 years.

Most recognized for: A seasoned vet of the theater scene, Stanley landed lots of small – yet recognizable – film & TV roles. He played the president in both “The Rock” and “Armageddon,” was Drew Carey’s dad on that show which strangely glorified Cleveland, and presided as Judge Arthur Vandelay – the magistrate in the finale episode of “Seinfeld.”

Joe Jackson –
Talent manager, musician, bad dad.
July 26, 1928 – June 27, 2018.
Aged 89 years.

Most recognized for: A failed blues guitarist, Joe desperately needed a way to cash in on all the kids he mysteriously couldn’t stop having… so he made them dance & sing. His merciless rehearsal schedule and belt-wielding motivational tactics would become the topic of more than one Oprah interview many years later. But, the beatings paid off.  The Jackson 5 were a success and Joe was able to live comfortably off of his well disciplined brood… until he caught himself a case of the Swayzes.

Selected by: Mike Poweleit 1, Raspus, Hog 2

Vinnie Paul –
Musician, producer, tipsy texan.
March 11, 1964 – June 22, 2018.
Aged 54 years.

Most recognized for: With his brother Darrel “Dimebag” Abbot, they formed heavy metal game-changers Pantera. The hard-partying siblings later split off and formed Damageplan, which ended with Dimebag’s onstage murder in 2004. Vinnie’s last project, Hellyeah, was on a successful run… and shortly after recording the drum tracks for their 6th album, he lost the beat.

Charles Krauthammer –
Columnist, Pulitzer winner, talking head.
March 13, 1950 – June 21, 2018.
Aged 68 years.

Most recognized for: To the boob-tubers, he was that crypt-keeper lookin’ fukker on FoxNews. A respected doctor turned oft-disrespected political commentator, his on-screen rigidity was a byproduct of being a paraplegic since the 70’s. Besides Fox, Chuck also made contributions to The Washington Post, Time Magazine, and a small Jewish cemetery of undisclosed origin.

Selected by: Angels of Meth

Big Van Vader –
Pro wrestler, ex-NFL’er, ogre.
May 14, 1955 – June 18, 2018.
Aged 63 years.

Most recognized for: Born Leon White, he played Center for the LA Rams in Super Bowl XIV before becoming a super-heavyweight professional man handler in the mid-80’s. At 6’4″ & 456 lbs, he bullied the big dogs of the WCW, WWF, and a couple of strangely popular Japanese wrestling associations… until his bum ticker put him down for the count.

Selected by: Abra-Cadaver, Raspus, & Doug Graves

J. Dwayne Onfroy AKA XXXtentacion –
Rapper, jailbird, troubled youth.
January 23, 1998 – June 18, 2018.
Aged 20 years.

Most recognized for: Ex..ten..ta… what?!? Li’l Dwayne rose to fame on SoundCloud with his brand of low-fi, depressing emo-rap. As his music career gained traction, so did his rap sheet. Robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, battery of a pregnant victim… the usual. When his 2nd album was released in 2018, it debuted at #1. Months later, he fell off the Billboard charts and into some flying lead.

Eunice Gayson –
Actress, limey, Bond girl #1.
March 17, 1928 – June 8, 2018.
Aged 90 years.

Most recognized for: As Sylvia Trench in “Dr. No,” it was her exchange with 007 that teed up the immortal introduction of “Bond. James Bond.” Originally planned to be a recurring character, she also appeared in the follow up, “From Russia with Love.” However, writers saw little value in Bond slipping his Walther into the same holster more than once… so her character disappeared.