Bryan Murray –
NHL coach, manager, puck head.
December 5, 1942 – August 12, 2017.
Aged 74 years.
Most recognized for: Held in high regard within the pro hockey community, Mr. Murray is unofficially ranked as one of the top 10 coaches/GMs of all time. In his 35 year career with the NHL, he worked with 5 different teams and picked up a few coaching awards along the way. He liked a fast & aggressive game… unfortunately, so did his colon cancer.
Yisrael Kristal –
World record holder, confectioner, Jew.
September 15, 1903 – August 11, 2017.
Aged 113 years.
Most recognized for: Until yesterday, Guinness certified him as the oldest man alive. After surviving the holocaust, he moved from Poland to Israel to open a candy shop. One of his signature sweets: miniature liquor bottles made of chocolate. Nice, right? So now that ol’ Yizzus is gone, the Guinness title has been passed on to some grizzled Spaniard.
Glenn Campbell –
Musician, TV host, Wichita Lineman.
April 22, 1936 – August 8, 2017.
Aged 81 years.
Most recognized for: Once a member of the legendary session-musician troupe known as “The Wrecking Crew,” he went solo to become a country/western music legend. Movie roles, tv shows, Grammys, Oscars, Tanya Tucker… he had it all. Oh, the stories he could tell you. But thanks to Alzheimers, you’d have better luck getting the whereabouts of Grandpa’s automobile out of Long Duck Dong.
Selected by: Der Kommissar, M. Poweleit, B. Hollander, Doug Graves, S. Darr, K. Laws, C. Capps, J. Darr, and Death’s Dick
Barbara Cook –
Singer, actress, Broadway broad.
October 25, 1927 – August 8, 2017.
Aged 89 years.
Most recognized for: If you should be unfortunate enough to have “theater friends,” they probably know who she is. Considered broadway royalty, Barb was lauded for her show-stopping vocal performances in the 50’s. She later turned her stage fame into a lucrative recording & touring career… tantalizing showtune junkies around the world with arias such as “Glitter and Be Gay” … not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Ty Hardin –
Actor, veteran, TV cowpoke.
January 1, 1930 – August 3, 2017.
Aged 87 years.
Most recognized for: Born Orison Whipple Hungerford Jr., he shortened his name upon arriving in Hollywood and started landing small roles in westerns. His big break came with the ABC series “Cheyenne,” which led to a spin-off for his title character “Bronco.” In a string of horrible decisions, he turned down the lead in “A Fistfull of Dollars,” said no the TV superhero role that would go to Adam West, and got married… 8 fukking times.
Don Baylor –
MLB player, club manager, fallen angel.
June 28, 1949 – August 7, 2017.
Aged 68 years.
Most recognized for: In his heyday, Don was a feared, award-winning slugger. He played in 3 consecutive World Series with 3 different teams… eventually getting a ring with the Twins in ’87. After retiring as a player, he bounced around as a batting coach and got a couple of managing gigs. The one thing he couldn’t manage: multiple myeloma.
Darren “Dutch” Daulton –
MLB Catcher, radio host, drunk driver.
January 3, 1962 – August 6, 2017.
Aged 55 years.
Most recognized for: With his curly locks and chiseled jawline, he was the face of the Phillies franchise in the early 90’s. Dutch was a 3 time All-Star and spent the first 14 1/2 of his 15 year career playing for Philadelphia… closing it out with a World Series ring in Miami. He spent his retirement in Florida getting sh!tfaced & driving like a maniac… until brain cancer finally slowed him down.
Goldy McJohn –
Musician, Canadian, hairball.
May 2, 1945 – August 1, 2017.
Aged 72 years.
Most recognized for: As keyboard player for Steppenwolf, he pioneered the use of the Hammond B3 electric organ in early hard rock & heavy metal music. The psychedelic warble of the instrument became his signature sound… which other rock keyboardists soon emulated. What didn’t catch on: the curly, afro hair-helmet look.
Robert Hardy –
Actor, Brit, Churchill stunt double.
October 29, 1925 – 3 August 3, 2017.
Aged 91 years.
Most recognized for: He’s another one of those old British actors that pops up in strange places. He’s played both FDR and Churchill on multiple occasions… and even appeared in a flick about a flatulent child astronaut… called (drumroll please) “Thunderpants.” However, his highest profile gig to date was as Cornelius Fudge in the Harry Potter movies.
John Reaves –
NFL Quarterback, All-American, gloryhound.
March 2, 1950 – August 1, 2017.
Aged 67 years.
Most recognized for: He set school and NCAA passing records in his 3 years as QB at the University of Florida… thanks in part to the the controversial “Gator Flop.” In the pro’s, he developed a nasty habit of throwing more INT’s than TD’s… which tends to get you sidelined pretty quickly.
Ara Parseghian –
College football coach, sportscaster, Armenian Irishman.
May 21, 1923 – August 2, 2017.
Aged 94 years.
Most recognized for: Asparagus Afghanistan? How the fukk do you pronounce this guys name?! Anyway… regarded as one of South Bend’s “Holy Trinity,” he steered the Notre Dame Fighting Drunken Irishmen to 2 national titles over his 11 year reign. He never had a losing season and retired with an impressive 95-17-4 record.
Sam Shepard –
Actor, playwright, snaggletooth.
November 5, 1943 – July 27, 2017.
Aged 73 years.
Most recognized for: Sam dabbled in music and theater early in his career, having written 30 produced plays before his 30th birthday… eventually scoring a Pulitzer Prize for “Buried Child.” He later got Hollywood’s attention with his Oscar nominated portrayal of Chuck Yeager in “The Right Stuff.” In his golden years, he explored new hobbies… such as driving drunk and fighting Lou Gherig’s Deisease.