Celebrity Dead Pool News for the Ghoulish and Depraved


Der Kommissar - page 62

Der Kommissar has 760 articles published.

Still Here

in News & Updates by

“Eat it, McClanahan!”
Happy 95th birthday, Betty White.  This spunky old broad is still alive and kicking, despite being a member of the Lucky 13.  When she’s not chowing down hot dogs or hosting her “animals do the darndest things” show on GAC, she’s flipping the bird to all you dead poolers… showing you that as of today, you’ll get 1 less point from this dusty old muffin.

Holy Roller Craps Out

in Hits & Misses by
“I could really go for a mouthful of man-ass right about now.”

Bishop Eddie Long
Megachurch pastor, author, muscle-headed hypocrite.
May 12, 1953 – January 15, 2017.
Aged 63 years.

Most recognized for: Tax evasion, forcing himself upon male clergy members, and not practicing what he preaches in general.

Selected by: R. Belly

The Undertaker Takes Down Snuka… Again!

in Hits & Misses by
“Sorry if my ass smells up there. Tacos for dinner last night.”

Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka
Wrestler, bodybuilder, flamboyant Fijian.
May 18, 1943 – January 15, 2017.
Aged 73 years.

Most recognized for: Cheetah print speedos and the “I’m just too damn old and crazy to stand trial for murder” defense.

Selected by: Der Kommissar, J. Stautberg, A. Kelly, & J. Darr

Get Dead

in Hits & Misses by
“Fuck it.”

Dick Gautier
Actor, comedian, game show panelist.
October 30, 1931 – January 13, 2017.
Aged 85 years.

Most recognized for: Played Hymie the Robot on TV’s “Get Smart” and was the voice of a few Transformers back in the 80’s.

Tails, You Lose

in Hits & Misses by
“This one’s for you, Valenzuela.”

Tommy Allsup
Musician, producer, lucky summbitch.
November 24, 1931 – January 11, 2017.
Aged 85 years.

Most recognized for: Lost the coin toss with Ritchie Valenz for the last seat on Buddy Holly’s plane.   So technically, he won.

Stamped Tramp

in Hits & Misses by
“I’ve been married five times. What harm could Sinatra possibly do to me at this point?’

Buddy Greco
Pop singer, arranger/conductor, Las Vegas lounge act.
August 14, 1926 – January 10, 2017.
Aged 90 years.

Most recognized for: He sold more copies of “The Lady is a Tramp” than Sinatra. Suck it, ‘Ol Blue eyes.

Hot in Cleveland, Cold in Van Nuys

in Hits & Misses by
“You wanna see pics of my sweet rack? You’re gonna have to google that shit, son.”

Francine York
Actress, sweater model, 60’s sexpot.
August 26, 1936 – January 6, 2017.
Aged 80 years.

Most recognized for: Corny Jerry Lewis movies, villainous roles in 60’s TV shows like Batman and Lost in Space, and having a really sweet rack.

One Death at a Time

in Hits & Misses by
“Did somebody call for a drain snake?”

Pat Harrington Jr.
Actor, game show host, guy with the creepy mustache.
August 13, 1929 – January 6, 2016.
Aged 86 years.

Most recognized for: As apartment complex superintendent Schneider on TV’s One Day at a Time, he made most renters stop & ask themselves: “does the janitor have a key to my place?… and how safe does that really make me feel?”

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