Still Here
Adrift in the Sea of Tranquility
Eugene Cernan –
Astronaut, author, moon dawg.
March 14, 1934 – January 16, 2017.
Aged 82 years.
Most recognized for: Was the last guy to walk on the moon… or whatever the conspiracy theorists want to call “the moon.”
Holy Roller Craps Out
Bishop Eddie Long –
Megachurch pastor, author, muscle-headed hypocrite.
May 12, 1953 – January 15, 2017.
Aged 63 years.
Most recognized for: Tax evasion, forcing himself upon male clergy members, and not practicing what he preaches in general.
Selected by: R. Belly
The Undertaker Takes Down Snuka… Again!
Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka –
Wrestler, bodybuilder, flamboyant Fijian.
May 18, 1943 – January 15, 2017.
Aged 73 years.
Most recognized for: Cheetah print speedos and the “I’m just too damn old and crazy to stand trial for murder” defense.
Selected by: Der Kommissar, J. Stautberg, A. Kelly, & J. Darr
Get Dead
Dick Gautier–
Actor, comedian, game show panelist.
October 30, 1931 – January 13, 2017.
Aged 85 years.
Most recognized for: Played Hymie the Robot on TV’s “Get Smart” and was the voice of a few Transformers back in the 80’s.
Marcello Makes an Exit
Tony Rosato –
Actor, comedian, Capgras delusionist.
December 26, 1954 – January 10, 2017.
Aged 62 years.
Most recognized for: Saturday Night Live, SCTV, and the voice of Luigi in all the Nintendo cartoons. Oh, and for educating me on what the hell a Capgras delusion is.
Cheerio, Old Chap
Anthony Armstrong-Jones, A.K.A. Lord Snowdon –
Photographer, photographer/film maker, tea-time enthusiast.
March 7, 1930 – January 13, 2017
Aged 86 years.
Most recognized for: He used to poke a princess. Like, a for real princess.
The Power of Death Compells You!
William Peter Blatty –
Writer, director, demonic sex toy vanguard.
January 7, 1928 – January 12, 2017.
Aged 89 years.
Most recognized for: Scaring the bejeezus out of people in the 70’s with “The Exorcist.”
Tails, You Lose
Tommy Allsup –
Musician, producer, lucky summbitch.
November 24, 1931 – January 11, 2017.
Aged 85 years.
Most recognized for: Lost the coin toss with Ritchie Valenz for the last seat on Buddy Holly’s plane. So technically, he won.
Stamped Tramp
Buddy Greco –
Pop singer, arranger/conductor, Las Vegas lounge act.
August 14, 1926 – January 10, 2017.
Aged 90 years.
Most recognized for: He sold more copies of “The Lady is a Tramp” than Sinatra. Suck it, ‘Ol Blue eyes.
Hot in Cleveland, Cold in Van Nuys
Francine York –
Actress, sweater model, 60’s sexpot.
August 26, 1936 – January 6, 2017.
Aged 80 years.
Most recognized for: Corny Jerry Lewis movies, villainous roles in 60’s TV shows like Batman and Lost in Space, and having a really sweet rack.
One Death at a Time
Pat Harrington Jr. –
Actor, game show host, guy with the creepy mustache.
August 13, 1929 – January 6, 2016.
Aged 86 years.
Most recognized for: As apartment complex superintendent Schneider on TV’s One Day at a Time, he made most renters stop & ask themselves: “does the janitor have a key to my place?… and how safe does that really make me feel?”