Earle Bruce –
Football coach, NCAA HOF’er, Buckeye.
March 8, 1931 – April 20, 2018.
Aged 87 years.
Most recognized for: Earle had some big shoes to fill, taking over the Ohio State head coach position after Woody Hayes got a little punchy. But in the 8 years he was in charge at his alma mater, he led the Buckeyes to 4 conference titles… that’s 8, not counting the year Cris Carter screwed it up for everybody.
Bruno Sammartino –
Wrestler, heavyweight champ, greaseball.
October 6, 1935 – April 18, 2018.
Aged 82 years.
Most recognized for: A WWE Hall of Famer, he held the belt for over 11 years (combined) in the 60’s & 70’s. He re-emerged briefly in the 80’s after a Wrestlemania I squabble with Johnny Valiant. Dubbed “The Italian Superman,” “The Strongest Man on Earth,” and “The Living Legend,” the latter nickname clearly no longer applies.
Barbara Bush –
Former First Lady, Texan, hairy old Bush.
June 8, 1925 – April 17, 2018.
Aged 92 years.
Most recognized for: Alongside Abigail Adams, she was one of only two First Ladies to have US presidents come both in and out of her. During her stay in the White House, she crusaded for literacy. Out of it, she kept an eye on the status of her husband’s diaper. But in their turtle derby to the grave, Barbie beat Georgie. By how much? Hopefully, we soon shall see.
Selected by: Gobes and P. Kitty
Harry Anderson –
Actor, magician, cat in the hat.
October 14, 1952 – April 16, 2018.
Aged 65 years.
Most recognized for: The 80’s were good to Harry. He had multiple appearances on SNL, a recurring role on “Cheers,” and was star of the TV comedy smash “Night Court.” The decades that followed weren’t so kind. “Dave’s World” was cancelled in ’97, the bar he’d just opened in NOLA got Katrina’d in ’05, and then Judge Stone turned up dead in ’18. All rise?
R. Lee Ermey –
Actor, gunnery sergeant, sweet talker.
March 24, 1944 – April 15, 2018.
Aged 74 years.
Most recognized for: Following a tour in Vietnam & a medical discharge, Gunny became an on-set advisor for military movies… until Stanley Kubrick promoted him to the front line in 1987’s “Full Metal Jacket.” The Golden Globe winning performance provided him with a career of playing gruff assholes and hosting meat-headed shows on the History channel.
Milos Forman –
Director, screenwriter, Jew.
February 18, 1932 – April 13, 2018.
Aged 86 years.
Most recognized for: An obscure Czechoslovakian filmmaker in the early 70’s, he was tapped by producer Michael Douglas to direct an adaptation of Ken Kesey’s novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” Boom. Several Oscars later, Milo ain’t so obscure anymore. He later brought us “Amadeus,” “The People vs. Larry Flynt,” and the Andy Kaufman biopic “Man in the Moon.”
Cecil Taylor –
Pianist, poet, polyrhythm man.
March 25, 1929 – April 5, 2018.
Aged 89 years.
Most recognized for: If you’re into jazz… like, really into it, you’ve heard his name before. His unique approach to the instrument was more akin to percussion rather than traditional piano. He toured the world, recorded dozens of albums, and even played at the White House. Now… it was during Carter’s presidency, but it was still a legit White House gig.
Johnny Valiant –
Wrestler, actor, heel.
November 25, 1946 – April 4, 2018.
Aged 71 years.
Most recognized for: “Luscious” Johnny V was the manager behind the WWF “Dream Team” of Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake, and Greg “the Hammer” Valentine. Outside the ring, he dabbled in comedy and acting, having appeared in episodes of “The Sopranos” and “Law & Order.” Then, while hoofing it across the street in a Sh!ttsburgh suburb, his lusciousness got body slammed by a pick up truck. Upon arrival at the scene, police handed Valiant’s belt to the driver.
Winnie Madikizela-Mandela –
Politician, activist, bad cook.
September 26, 1936 – April 2, 2018.
Aged 81 years.
Most recognized for: She was her famous husband’s mouthpiece during his 27 year stretch in the South African can. Often called the “Mother of a Nation,” Mrs. Mandela’s political action tactics were… questionable. Her personal brute squad – affectionally known as The Mandela United Football Club – widely used necklacing to get Winnie’s point across. Subtle, grandma. Real subtle.
Debbie Lee Carrington –
Actress, stuntwoman, dwarf.
December 14, 1959 – March 23, 2018.
Aged 58 years.
Most recognized for: Li’l Debbie was the machine gun-wielding, midget hooker in 1990’s “Total Recall.” You remember… from the whorehouse/bar on Mars where Arnold met the mutant lady with 3 boobs? Other credits include “Return of the Jedi,” “Howard the Duck,” “Bride of Chucky,” and the stand-in/heightening episode of “Seinfeld.”
Louise Latham –
Actress, Texan, democrat.
September 23, 1922 – February 12, 2018.
Aged 95 years.
Most recognized for: She got her big break in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1964 sex mystery “Marnie” as the title character’s neurotic, ex-prostitute mother. She played the damaged & detached old biddy role so well that she practically made a career of it… often cast as a lobotomized housewife, drab landlady, or opinionated townsperson. As they say, it pays to specialize.
Charles Lazarus –
Businessman, toy magnate, category killer.
October 24, 1923 – March 21, 2018.
Aged 94 years.
Most recognized for: Were you “A Toys ‘R’ Us Kid?” Chuck founded what would become the international toy giant in 1948. 70 years and a failed deal with Amazon later, it was announced that all 1758 stores worldwide would suddenly close or be sold. Just days after the news broke, with his empire reduced to ashes, so was Mr. Lazarus.