Tommy Page –
Singer/songwriter, music industry exec, pretty boy.
May 24, 1970 – March 3, 2017.
Aged 46 years.
Most recognized for: A collaboration with The New Kids on the Block, his single “I’ll Be Your Everything” went to number 1 on the charts in 1990. Then, after transitioning to various board-room roles within the music biz and making big-big bucks for a few decades, he decided to off himself.
Joseph Wapner –
Judge, author, root beer mascot.
November 15, 1919 – February 26, 2017.
Aged 97 years.
Most recognized for: He was the no nonsense gavel banger on The People’s Court… and the center of Raymond Babbit‘s universe.
Selected by: J. Kaplan
Bill Paxton –
Actor, director, TV polygamist.
May 17, 1955 – February 25, 2017.
Aged 61 years.
Most recognized for: His portayal of Chet in 1985’s Weird Science showed abusive older siblings around the world how it’s really done.
Neil Fingleton –
Actor, basketball player, bean-pole.
December 18, 1980 – February 26, 2017.
Aged 36 years.
Most recognized for: Played Mag the Mighty on “Game of Thrones” and a handful of other freakishly tall movie characters. At 7 feet 7 inches tall, he once held the Guinness record for tallest person in the European Union. That’s a big muhfukker.
Ivan Koloff –
Wrestler, author, foreign heel.
August 25, 1942 – February 18, 2017.
Aged 74 years.
Most recognized for: Known as “The Russian Bear,” he played the Soviet bad-guy in the earlier days of the WWF, NWA, and ECW. Unfortunately for the Bear, Nikolai Volkoff gained greater notoriety by playing a nearly identical character… maybe because he actually was Soviet instead of Canadian.
Larry Coryell –
Musician, guitarist, jazz junkie.
April 2, 1943 – February 19, 2017.
Aged 73 years.
Most recognized for: Widely regarded as the Godfather of Fusion, he collaboarted with all the jazz greats… and, of course, shot a lot of heroin. Because what’s jazz without heroin, right?
Daryl Easton –
Magician, lecturer, somebody that should have stuck to card tricks.
August 13, 1955 – February 24, 2017.
Aged 61 years.
Most recognized for: After decades of touring the world performing and teaching his craft, wound up accidentally hanging himself while trying to figure out some stupid rope trick.
Alan Colmes –
TV & radio host, political commentator, token liberal.
September 24, 1950 – February 23, 2017.
Aged 66 years.
Most recognized for: Half of the political debate show “Hannity & Colmes” and tenured Fox News contributor, he was typically brought on air to represet the “other side” of the argument. Unfortunately for him, that was the wrong side.
Clyde Stubblefield –
Drummer, funk pioneer, sampler platter.
April 18, 1943 – February 18, 2017.
Aged 73 years.
Most recognized for: His drum breakdown on James Brown’s “Funky Drummer” is one of the most sampled rhythm patterns in hip hop history. Trust us… you’ve heard it before.
George “The Animal” Steele –
Wrestler, actor, hairball.
April 16, 1937 – February 16, 2017.
Aged 79 years.
Most recognized for: Being the green-tongued gorilla that stalked the lovely Miss Elizabeth… much to the Macho Man’s dismay. If this isn’t ringing any bells, take a Delorean back to the mid-80’s and watch some wrestling.
Trish Doan –
Musician, Korean Canadian, headbanger.
May 9, 1985 – Ferbuary 13, 2017.
Aged 31 years.
Most recognized for: She was the bass player for all-girl metal band Kittie. Even though their music wasn’t all that great, broads playing heavy metal is pretty hot.
Kim Jong-Nam –
Korean “royal,” exiled successor, wannabe Mouseketeer.
June 10, 1970 – February 13, 2017
Aged 46 years.
Most recognized for: As the eldest son of East Asian despot Kim Jong-Il, we was first in line to be ruler of North Korea… that is, until a botched attempt to visit Tokyo Disneyland on a phony passport. After that, daddy disowned him, croaked, & the reins were passed to Jong-Nam’s little bro Jong-Un.