Hits & Misses - page 52

Frank Kush –
College/pro football coach, Hall of Fame’r, mean old Polack.
January 20, 1929 – June 22, 2017.
Aged 88 years.

Most recognized for: During his tenure as head coach at Arizona State, his sadistic practice drills in desert heat became the stuff of legend. These “motivational” techniques became the focus of a lawsuit after he blasted a player in the mouth. Following his dismissal from ASU, he coached the Colts for a minute, and then quit for a USFL job. Remember the USFL?

Albert Johnson – A.K.A Prodigy –
Rapper, actor, thug.
November 2, 1974 – June 20, 2017.
Aged 42 years.

Most recognized for: The pretentiously self-nicknamed Prodigy was one half of East Coast hardcore rap duo Mobb Deep. Flashy & foolish, he was busted for drugs, guns, and eventually landed himself in the pokey. Although he survived his 3 years in a jail cell, the sickle cell was waiting for him on the outside.

Bill Dana –
Actor, comedian, pretend Mexican.
October 5, 1924 – June 15, 2017.
Aged 92 years.

Most recognized for: A comedy show staple in the 50’s & 60’s… he even had his own sit-com at one time. Bill also had recurring characters on “Too Close for Comfort,” “Golden Girls,” “St. Elsewhere,” and wrote the infamous Sammy Davis Jr. episode of “All In The Family.” In spite of all these accomplishments, he’s best known for his Mexican immigrant turned astronaut character ‘Jose’ on “The Ed Sullivan Show.”

Tim Hague –
Professional fighter, Canadian, bleeder.
May 9, 1983 – June 18, 2017.
Aged 34.

Most recognized for: A heavyweight MMA’er, this 6’4″ 265 lb Canuck ruled the cage circuit up North before transitioning to the UFC. After losing by what Joe Rogan referred to as “the worst decision he’s seen in his life,” he left the UFC… only to return & quit a time or two more… eventually deciding to stick to just boxing. A few shots to the head later, & he’s out cold. Real cold.

Stephen Furst –
Actor, director, ‘Beetus casualty.
May 8, 1954 – June 16, 2017.
Aged 63 years.

Most recognized for: He played chubby fraternity pledge Kent Dorfman (AKA Flounder) in the college comedy classic “Animal House.” Contrary to Dean Wormer’s criticism, it tuns out that ‘fat, drunk, & stupid’ does work out for some people. It just lacks a little longevity.
 

John G. Alvidsen –
Director, Oscar winner, montage enthusiast.
December 21, 1935 – June 16, 2017.
Aged 81 years.

Most recognized for: He gained Hollywood stud status as director of “Rocky,” only to flounder throughout the subsequent decade as helmsman of – not just one, but – all 3 “Karate Kid” movies. He returned to the fold to direct “Rocky V” in 1990, but we all know how that one turned out.

Helmut Kohl –
Ex-chancellor of Germany, EU architect, commie-hatin’ kraut.
April 3, 1930 – June 16, 2017.
Aged 87 years.

Most recognized for: Instrumental in the re-unification of Germany after the collapse of the Iron Curtain, he was often ridiculed for being portly and unsophisticated by his political detractors. But come on… the dude was known for holding day-long policy meetings with nothing but beer & sauerkraut on the table. Of course he’s gonna get fat & smelly. Would you rather have the Berlin Wall back?

Anita Pallenberg –
Actress, artist, rock-n-roll cum dumpster.
January 25, 1944 – June 13, 2017.
Aged 73 years.

Most recognized for: She had a handful of film appearances, including “Barbarella” and “Mister Lonely”… but she’s best known for her role as a spread pair of skyward-pointed legs for just about any member of The Rolling Stones. She banged Brian Jones, Mick Jagger, and ultimately Keith Richards… with whom she bore 3 children. One can only guess how fuuuucked up those kids are.

Adam West –
Actor, Comic-Con staple, mayor of Quahog.
September 19, 1928 – June 9, 2017.
Aged 88 years.

Most recognized for: Milkman turned caped crusader, Mr. West set the physical standards for spandex-wearing superheroes stunningly low in the ridiculously campy 1960’s “Batman” TV series.

 

Glenne Hedley –
Actress, thespian, former Mrs. Malkovich.
March 13, 1955 – June 8, 2017
Aged 62 years.

Most recognized for: While her resume boasts multiple appearances on stage & screen, most remember her for her role as blonde bimbo turned grifter in 1988’s “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.” It was the comedic version of an M. Night Shammalamma ending long before “The 6th Sense.”

Roger Smith –
Actor, manager, starfukker.
December 18, 1932 – June 4, 2017.
Aged 84 years.

Most recognized for: Rodger played Detective Jeff Spencer on the wildly popular “77 Sunset Strip.” He also played with Ann-Margret’s naughty bits for quite some time, having been married to the old fire-crotch for 50 years.

Jim Piersall –
Baseball player, author, bi-polar cuckoo bird.
November 14, 1929 – June 3, 2017.
Aged 87 years.

Most recognized for: A gold glove center fielder, he became an MLB problem child in the 50’s due to his bouts with mental illness. He beat up Jimmy Martin, spanked children that weren’t his own, ran the bases backwards, came to the plate wearing a wig, and would occasionally talk aloud to the ghost of Babe Ruth….. but boy could he play ball.